My Views about "cartoons"...

Recently, i'm always searching for old animes to watch on crunchy roll. they're cock, their techniques & graphics are rough. but their very nice to watch. makes me feel warm and fuzzy and pulls me into a world tat is ever so sweet and nice.....that all problems encountered will be solved in the end.

animes and animated films... always bringing out and focusing on small details in life that we, humans never fail to overlook. whenever i watch them, i'm always so drawn in by them. i feel so much for the characters. these helps me to think for others in their shoes.

real life stories of people, put into contours and colours. ever so motivating, ever so inspiring. life lessons & moral educations. simplicity of life & human's complex mind. all pack into animes and films!

Readers of my blog, i urge you guys to watch with your eyes and feel with your heart the next time you watch animations. think of what the animators are trying their best to tell you. the underlying messages apart from all the comedies and exaggerated emotions that makes you laugh your heart out.

till you know how to feel with your heart and soul, you'll never fully enjoy and appreciate the great animes & animated films. (=

= 5 MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE =

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you £800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"

"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the £800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest removed his hand.
But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.


Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish.""Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."

Puff! She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.

"Puff! He's gone."

OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.


Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: " Sure , why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." !
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the! tree.


Moral of the story: Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

ain't this nice? i was driving halfway when i suddenly notice how pretty the sky is!

i use this as my PSP's wallpaper. it goes well with every theme!

most importantly, i love to look at clouds! their ever changing shapes & their ability to expand pple's imaginations & creativity. of cuz, when they get too heavy, they turn black and starts to pour cats & dogs!!

Now, i'm back!

still very disappointed with myself.

Running: 22mins, 3km. 35mins, 4km.
target, 30mins 5km.

pull ups: 3 + 1 half "f***"
target, 12 (6 before i enlist for NS, 12 Max)

Weight: 67kg
target, 57kg. (55kg before i enlist for NS!)

No Pain, No Gain.

alrite. i buy one set of new year clothings le.

shopping was weird as hell~

bugis was cold as hell~

shoppers was wishy washy as hell~

rain was heavy as hell~

i am angry as hell~

we're in hell!

okays. anyway, full set of levis! Jeans, belt, shirt. very ex!! but i tink its rather worth bah.

240++ after 20% disc & a $50 voucher (valid till end feb)

very tired! very sluggish! almost kiss the backside of a BMW 6series!! i slpt only at ard 7plus. work up and bathe at 0830hrs. after that, i try to catch some zZz again. kept yawning like the air is free! (wait a min. it is free!) haha. okay. anyway, den after that went to fetch that idiot at aljunied mrt. came back to my home & did some stuff before we head out for lunch. we had our lunch at old airport rd! so long nvr eat there already. cuz too tired of the food there!! everyday go there sia... who wont? finish lunch, bought one ton mee for my bro & set off for bugis.

after bugis, went to office to fetch mom to the consultant's office to collect some site drawings. another project? hais... money money money, make the world revolves!! anyway.. after that, come home and play psp den, unknowingly fell aslp! after tat, aiden called and i was like.. good bye... infidel~....... lol. too much jeff dunham & achmed! cant stop laughing. (=

alrite. shld stop here le. very tired & lethargic! but training still goes on! run run run jog jog jog. must send two atomic bombs to my united nations!! byebye =D

p.s. might update later on.

Today, i learn a few more lessons in life after watching rambo 4.

• LIVE for nothing or DIE for something.
• When pushed, killing is as easy as breathing.

and i now understand why this show is M18. so much gore and violence!

Anyway, CNY coming. Still not sure if i shld get new clothes! even IF i wan to, nobody wans to go with me. haha! after that... Vday. the most hated day of the entire year. Go out, see couples, hate them! stay at home, TV keep wishing people happy Vday, hate it too! Go online, nobody to chat with! not even sure if gerwyn is on duty anot!

Jus now, went to her blog. so sad to see that she is looking for a valentine date. wif her calibre, a date is as easy as snapping my fingers! but somehow, i hope she would have a date. it's kinda like a way of making me "si xin".. den i'll be like talking to myself.. "people already move on and even got a date le. wad on earth are u doing? focus on building ur career path! with a steady career, u can give ur mom a good life & buy all the sports car in the world! ain't that a better choice?"

den...... deep down my heart, i'll be like "who on this world am i trying to kid?" haha.. hell lar. why tink so much? nt like u can do anything when she doesnt even care to give u a chance to even be friends! to tink tat she say she is faithless in me when i actually put my trust in her when she lied to me before. tats life bah.. full of ups n downs. i grew more mature after every relationships. i learn that my heart cant deal with another blow. it'll take much much more for another girl to enter my life once again. but this doesnt really matter anymore rite? any girl with the right mind would noe that i'm useless and no future in life. who would be willing to stick with me thru thick n thin? haha. maybe thomas? gerwyn? aiden? justin? bryan? jeremy? jiacai?

if u're reading this, i sincerely wish u good luck in finding a new guy tat will take good care of u. i'm nt being xu wei or sarcastic. take care of urself. -loves.

I've given up on NYP. my preparation is not enough.


anyway, i would like to ask a question about the topic below.

Communication.

Is it really so hard for humans to communicate?

Does it really mean that when a couple have nothing to talk about means everything is coming to an end?

When problem arises in a relationship, be it friends, BGR, parents & children, does it hurt to open up and talk? you can say you're afraid that when you bring the problem up, the other party will be very much offended or more burden will be added on to him/her. have you ever thought that if you keep it to yourself, the longer you keep, the more damage will be done to you AND the party(ies) involve!

so talk! often talk about what ever that may be potential break up reasons or potential family threats or potential messy problems! dont be afraid to solve problems! problems that comes back after you all "solved" them, are not really "SOLVED"!

For COUPLES, BGRs:

PLEASE PEOPLE! PLEASE thrash things out every now and then! quarrels DO make each other know themselves better! don't always think that quarrels are bad! BUT! if you people always talk openly to one another, would there be a need for quarrels to begin with? IF you guys think that you can't do all these, please try your best not to go around and break people's heart. because alot of us boys and girls are looking for long term relationships! NOT just playing around everyday and just wan to have fun all the way.

This world does not jus revolves around YOU! so please don't try to assume or make decisions for your other half thinking that, oh! it's alright. he/she got alot of burden already so, i shall tahan as much as i can and will tell him/her when he/she feels better. IF you feel that this is thinking in the shoes of ur other half, you're dead wrong! DEAD WRONG!

so please, have a kind heart and spare us of this kind of torturous feelings. break ups or divorces are not games where u can jus shut off when u're done playing or when u're tired of playing.

(=

man... going nuts already! like so crazy can!
wholeday only draw one buddha head.
tomorrow last day for application for nyp.
gosh! like.. how? hais.

today slpt at ard 4 plus 5 i tink.
was msging shermin all the way..
having some personnal problems that i'd few years back.
so kinda familiar with this.
cheer up! life goes on. (=

i tink i shld go sketch some more antiques in the house!
hopefully get thru this stage first!
stomach aching again!!

i need to push myself! push push push....
i mean drawing. not shitting... =P

Yesterday night, My mom was talking to aiden & thomas. yea i know guys, she is really very worried for me becuz i'm like the most useless guy now.

so much i wan to blog about. or rather so much i jus wish i could pour out to someone. yet i have no one to turn to. among so many friends, i still feel so very lonely. one who i thought we could work things out, left me. why do i still insist? i'm not sure. thinking that we can communicate and end up, i'm always the one blabbering away. quarrels? did we really? only twice we did frm where i see. the rest of the "quarrels" are only one sided, meaning that she jus dont to speak up & solve the problem tog. she jus say that problem will only be solve for a few days den it'll come back again. oh well... i'm not very sure y i talk abt this again. zZz...... wads over is already over? nt sure... ngtianwen, u love her so? big deal?

Mum, i love you too. right now, so much stuff is happening & u won't understand nor will u have the time to understand too. u're right that a man must have both foot down on the ground. career is the most impt thing to man. i'm 21 this year. can't waste time on silly stuff anymore. i'll do my best to prove that this path i choose is best for myself. thks mum.

Sat 26th Jan 08'
0215hrs

Yesterday, 25th Jan 08', i met thomas at cityhall mrt to go for a haircut. as usual, i choose super short hairstyle. we're not very happy with how our hair turns out. but cut already, what can we do? glue back those hair? hahas! after which, we went to my house via MRT. Thomas kept playing my PSP... i was like "thomas, you take away my entertainment den u dont entertain me..." he say "okay lai, wad u wan to talk about?" haha. i jus laugh and blabber away.

after alighting from the train, i bought my grandma and bro's lunch at nearby coffee shop. mix vegetable rice. we walk home and we're both sweating like nobody's business... after i reach home, i regroup & went off with thomas to Kovan to meet up with aiden. we had our lunch and this jap-kor fast food restaurant. i had cha soba! (the sauce super salty!) den after we finish, thomas went home to do his work stuff. aiden and me went down to MSHS. i told him i very long never screw people. he say okay lor. i look at their footdrill & hell was tat bad enough! after finishing with Sec 2s, Sec 3s came and whoo! i really let go and made them sweat like they jus bathed. but of cuz, i'm a very welfare guy... i teach them a song and let them relack relack.

song goes like this...

countbythecountbytheleftfootcountah1canthearyouah2speaklouderah3thatsbetterah4alltogethernowstjohn'sstjohn'sallthewaywelikeitherewelikeitherewecallourselvesahomeahomeahomeahomesweethome!

after that, i go home to check on granny. scare me sia! i thot she took like 1.5mg of wafarin! she is suppose to alternate b/w 1mg n 1.5mg. after tat she is fine, we wait for my uncle to come fetch her. she is suppose to be staying over at their place till CNY eve. granny of cuz, does not wan to. always afraid that no one is there to look after the house. well, old people are like these de bah. always wan their children and grandchildren to be looked after well. love my granny so much. though alot of times she really pisses us off. always playing national treasure with us! keep our wallets, mp3, psp, handphones, etc... she is very afraid that our maid would jus sweep away our valuables.

after that i went off to serangoon with aiden to meet up with gerwyn willis jiacai eugene kahmeng and zhanhui. we have dinner at the former S11. lol. they kinda over-estimated themselves and ordered 11plates of rice for 7people!! =S we finish the food and still have like 2 bowls of rice left! jiacai KO one bowl. me n aiden share one. woo. eating jus white rice can! hahas. gerwyn, as usual, always try to irritate everyone. he kinda get the kick frm all these. lol! after tat, few of us went to SR's mac. eugene n aiden got themselves chocolate sundae. i gotta watch my diet so i gave it a pass. =X after that, we went home. i gave gerwyn and jiacai a lift to their house nearby. den i drove home feeling empty once again. torturous.

later on today, i'll be heading to the gym with thomas n aiden. meeting up with some of them to go visit deliang n his family. me n gerwyn went to PS the other day to buy a set of infant clothings and i picked a nice picture book toy for little lim yu xing a.k.a. deliang Jr. very nice name the little boy has got. hope he gets a solid christain name! (=

alrite, tats all for now. typed alot!! but doesnt matter lar. nobody cares too.. good nite to who ever who reads my blog! hope u'll tag =D

why must humans always be clouded by their own emotions?

why can't humans be more truthful to their own feelings?

why can't humans be more honest to people around them?

always assuming that what they decide to do for people around them is the best solution.
always doing things that they do not wish to do.


i've lied to myself about my own feelings. i've escaped and avoid to deceive myself. i've clouded my mind with emotions that i couldn't suppress. the more i try to suppress, the more hurtful i become with the words and action i produce. the more i try to suppress, the more obvious i've become to others.

I don't care if u don't care about me. like how u tell me not to do anything, i don't need you to do things to let me give up. just standing at one corner to know that you're safe is enough for me. i know you loathe me but this won't change anything about how i feel. I'll still be here, awaiting to be ur listening ears & to let u have a shoulder to lean on. I cant promise to nvr quarrel but i can promise that it'll definitely be at minimal.

Faith is a funny thing. it starts with none & it grows when trust is poured in. U've lied to me once and i've forgave you and continue to trust you. i've never lie to you. don't i deserve a chance to redeem myself at the very least?

"don't you think it is too late to say all these now?" i never saw it coming and never had a chance to amend before disaster strike. life is unfair? indeed. to me, i'll never think that it is too late. because it is always better late then never. you're the one who think that it is too late.

why am i so persistent, u ask?
only to things i care about.
only to things i feel attached to.
only to things tat is important that i hold to my heart dearly.

with a simple rule of living with minimal regrets.

But if my persistence bothers you so much, i deeply apologize as that's who i am. tell me, i'll not show my face when u're near. i'll restrict my blog so nobody will know.

Don't mind what my friends say about you. i'll always say it takes 2 hands to clap. they just cant bare to see me so taken down, demoralized, disheartened & sad. they just wish to help me get on with my life. i do not listen to people and blindly follow what they say. i've my own mindset & my own principle to follow by. my way of life. don't tell me what to do because i will decide for myself.

take good care of yourself. the world is not as simple and naive as you think.

Friday 25th Jan 08'

0353Hrs

Hello! (=

congrats to guys who did well for their O lvls. Mr School-less is still here trying to think of something to sketch for his badly done portfolio. haha!

Today's run is not smooth at all. i feel like i've waste $2.50!

less den 8mins and i stop the thread mill! knees hurting like whoo!

Life is always full of regrets!

Tonite, something weird happen. interesting conversation with certain someone. I'm going nuts again from this conversation. But i guess that should be the least of my worries! time ain't ripe yet. and also because i'm Mr School-less & i hate this tittle that i gave myself! Sooo..... i must pull myself together and really make this final push! It is like.... make it or die!

i wan to be a one in a thousand years animator!

interesting...

i cant draw...

i cant even copy for god's sake!

what can i do?

giving up le... ... ....

i'm a crazy guy who post blogs like nobody's business. i'm not even sure if anyone reads.
i use to have someone who reads my blabbers everytime.

08th Dec 07'

Zone Presentation Nite @ Cat High.

Left to Right : LimHee; SokTing; TianWen.

ANCO 06' Section 6

haha. super random shot can!

Hatred is borned from something that you once loved.

derek sure is right about this sentence!

today go bugis with gerwyn to have lunch @ NYDC. lols. he kept telling me he wan to take the waitress's number. "u really tink i dont care to ask?" gerwyn... i know u well. i dont tink, i KNOW! hahas.. simple as that. you ask for the waitress's number, i'll ask for the other. muahaha..

after tat we go arcade for awhile den he say wan to buy AAA batts. den i saw my cousin PeiQi den she cant see me. we bring her to the MRT den we go buy AAA batts. den after tat i go home gerwyn go PS find his family. den i reach home, i slug... slug slug slug... den after tat go fetch grandma @ telok blangah.. den after tat bring her to tiong bahru for a barley drink @ yakun. den i had my dinner there. 2 slice of kaya toast. b4 that, we buy bread at breadtalk. den after tat, we go to the car den we go home. den i reach home, i chat on msn.. chat chat chat.. den after tat i blog. which is now. blog blog blog. den waiting for aunty n uncle to call taxi service.. the odyssey express... cab driver is me. F.O.C. one... its not a responsibility. its a MUST have service. hate this.

Now i learnt my lesson the hard way.

you do not reap what you sow. bad weather affects the crops, not just efforts frm the farmer.

efforts deposit, doesnt work like bank interest. what you put in remains inside & what u got out, results may vary. what i got out of this, is a whole world of sufferings.

first time in my 20yrs of life, i begin to really understand life. many a times, people escape from reality. from "avoiding" to suicides... i really understand how hard it is to live life to the fullest. escaping may not be the best option but it is always the easiest & the ones suffering will never be the ones who escaped. people around them will always bear these sufferings for no apparent reasons. but hell! if they dont, who will? like every job needs someone to do. if everyone starts their own business, who will be the employee? who will be the one sweeping the floors? who will be the one clearing chokes in a sewage pipe?

life is everchanging. life is amazing. it is interesting to always look at things from million point of views. maybe very soon, i'll be inspired and do really good sketchings.

eyes open wide, target insight, lock on, tackle. nvr back down. nvr look away. nvr stop till objective is achived.

love is a double edge blade.
like fire & water,
they can save millions of lives
OR
they can kill millions in seconds flat.

like coffee,
it perks one's life.
it's aromatic smell travels far & wide,
affecting people around them,
making them happier too.
but same as all good things in life, there will always be a downside.
after a period of time when coffee is not kept properly,
it's aromatic smell turns bad.
taste turns sour.
a slip would cause stomach aches & food poisoning!


does anyone disagree with me? feel free to shoot back at me =)
i welcome all comments! =) jus tag at the tag board would do...

why am i still so bothered by her? always go to her blog, always talk to her on msn, always go to her friendster profile... i mean i noe that i've let go le. but jus cant help sia. i need a little more time bah..
oh well.. zZz.. heck care lar. sooner or later, i'll not habour any hopes le.

When tat happens, i'll shut myself of from relationships for a jolly good period of time. no girls will wan me anyway. only those eyes kena stamp one.. lols!
Plus, don't wan to hurt any more girls (if any) & don't wan to be hurt by girls too.

i still rmb saying this "girls are trouble!" but... "guys like to find trouble for themselves" HAHA!

well, in any case, right now, on my hands ....

TOP of my Priority List :-

#1 PORTFOLIO
#2 Pass the auditions (NYP NAFA LASSELLA)
#3 Divide my united nations (& make sure they stay divided)
#4 Standard Charted Marathon 08'

LAST on my priority list :

- Get CNY clothings
- Go visit relatives
- Enjoy tons of good food

**Adhoc list :

- Get girl back (chances are like all the planets align in a straight line)
- Go back to mshsjab EXCO (chances are like china population down to 4mil)
- Learn Tennis (chances are high)
- Learn Guitar (chances are low)
- Learn bake cake (chances are very rare)
- Learn cook more dishes (chances are medium rare like a steak)

my body is weak.
prone to illness.
running is in need.
cardio cardio cardio.
no way out.
with a healthier body,
i'll be able to tink clear.

most importantly,
my portfollio.
sketches sketches sketches
no way out too.
with a proper sketch book,
i hope i can make it.

chinese new year round the corner. no mood for that. just wish to stay home and sleep. havent buy any clothes at all. don't exactly intend to either. suddenly, all festive holidays appear dull to me. just another normal day...

today go gym. tired. really.... like old man likedat. knees damn pain. run 10mins at speed 9... den 20mins on the bicycle. ass hurts many many... cry!

CANNOT!! my body too "chui" already. must regularly work out! else i'll nvr divide this united nation.

hmm.. actually, after my mind is clear and i could think properly... i'm no longer sure if trying to woo her back is the right thing to do. i'm not very confident anymore & would this be best for her if she really is together with me once again? i can promise her tomorrow but ultimately, this will still only be from my side. would she be able to deal with me once again? listening to how much work she have and how worked up she got over her homeworks.


HELLO NG TIAN WEN! DON'T CARE SO MUCH! JIO FIRST, TALK LATER! DON'T LET YOURSELF HAVE ANY CHANCE OF REGRETTING! AT LEAST YOU KNOW YOU TRIED AND YOU WILL FEEL BETTER RITE?

how how how?

"I'll be there for you" ? or "I will survive" ?

jeremy says "I will survive".

Date : 140108
Time: 1900hrs

Today very sian.. i woke up super early den no motivation to stay awake!! so i went back to sleep den woke up again when my dad go down. i wanted to wake up liao. but its like kaos.. they wont wait for me to wash up the lor. some more the van give to dunno who drive.. den they take ody. so sian lar, cannot be bothered.. den go back to sleep again. i know confirm will get scolding very soon liao.. but hell lar. no mood oso. u wan to scold, u scold for all i care lar hor..

around 10 plus, i woke up again den feel very lethargic! super sluggish and super hungry with no mood to eat but feel like buffing.. yucks.. den i go bathe, take my stuff, move off to office. hoping that the car will be there. end up, nope!!! not there at all. den i suck thump, buy from office and walk aaalllllllll the way home. my mom was like saying you wait, i coming back already. reach ard 1pm. of cuz i wont wan to wait lar! so long!! so i faster buy liao, faster go home. kena scolding from bro n sis for taking so long to buy food. i tell them "you very fast, u go buy yourself lor." like hello! i'm not buying for myself okay! geez! give me a break lar.

after that, i left house for aljunied MRT, met up with gerwyn. tat joker wear so nice, den keep pulling his shirt say very crumpled. lols. relax lar bro! only having lunch with weiling only wad. so kan jiong for wad? den on our way there, he keep teasing me like he always do. i always jus ignore him as usual.. lols =P gerwyn. so far, only i can tame you lar. muahaha..

we exited from the mrt den realise we're at the wrong side! lol.. we go back down, found the coffee shop den sat there to wait for weiling to come. den we had a great lunch lar. gerwyn keep talking cock and we're like laughing away. suddenly, life seems so simple. be happy and content with wad u have. simple as that. when you put in the effort to maintain that tinking, everything will fall into place. might even have bonus waiting for u. =)

okay, this is gettin draggy so... after lunch, weiling went back to her office, me n gerwyn go to SIM... kaos. uni so expensive! but well, in long run, it'll be good to find a JOB (just over broke). den after gerwyn ask finish wad ever he needs, we enquire for weiling's desired courses.. den after that, gerwyn hint to me say he wan to go funan look at games and hope to find a locking thing for his cupboard.. he needs a DIY shop! so we go all the way down to cityhall.. got this aunty ask us which direction to nat lib.. i was so stun when she refuse to take my advise, which is to take a train down to bugis! she say, she can walk there from cityhall. so, i was like, okay lor. your choice lar. haha.. den we walk ard funan... he look at his games, i play beowulf on their xbox 360. so nice lar the graphic! haha. technology rocks! after tat, he receive a call from his so called "OC" (mother). kena 1NTM.. go home for dinner! so we parted at cityhall. he take train to serangoon, i take train to kallang & take a bus to office. where now, i'm here, blogging..

msged linqian jus now.. response was okay. when it comes to her, i feel so weak as a guy. hahaha.. ok lar, already past le. no point.. no point... =) smiles and look ahead! tian ya he chu wu fang chao..

i have a few happy things to blog about today!

#1 i can talk wif her freely and comfortably again! this feeling is very light & relax! like the first time i drop my FBO after the first route march! like can fly high into the sky kind! whoosh! =D

#2 PSP Slim! sis, tats not gay red.... its like sports red! like ferrari red.. lols..

#3 Gerwyn can make fun of me with her in anyway he wan and i do not feel lousy anymore!

#4 i dreamt of her today and i laughed when i woke up. quite funny and happy dream. cannot say out the content!! cuz pple say dream, u say out den wont happen. actually logically speaking, everyone noes that tink too much in the day, den at nite will dream of tat.. but who cares? it's a happy one. =)

13th Jan 2008, SUN.

Post start : 1156hrs

Fresh brand new day. Hoping to get a PSP Slim at a reasonable price (or cheaper!!) i need a sort of distraction for myself right now. later meeting up wif gerwyn in about 45mins time & on to meet eugene @ AMK Hub. i wanna put in bomberman! cuz she likes the game.

i'm nt sure wad happen to me last nite. maybe cuz its the alcohol that made me do crazy stuff. the special blog for her, i've decided to stop bloggin there. i'm not very sure why i kept hanging on to her when she doesn't wan to be held on to. the happy days that we had were extreme and the bad days that were extremely demoralising. i had a part to play in this whole mess.

i wanted to ask if she'd regretted being with me. but i know the answer myself.
it kicks off with a pinch of care & concern that evolves into love. with this bit of love, it manifested into inifinite self sacrifices, selfless love, understanding & always wanting her to be happy. time goes by, the grip became tighter & i start to strangle her with all my might. i jus read her blog posts from b4. i misunderstood her, tinking she delete every single posts there are about us. now i noe she hid them well & i can see she doesnt wan to tinking about them when she goes to her blog. it is tiring & exhuasting. for the both of us. she now is happily enjoying all her friends' company, be it guy or gal. this type of freedom that she enjoyed.

i almost cried out last nite

cuz i finally understand why she insist to go with her plan. it comes clear to me that the future is unpredictable. if i try hard enuff, we may be together again. in her different stage of life, closer to mine. i'm foolish to tink so much. months back, she said she might not always be with me but her heart is always here. i'm such an asshole.

If i could turn back time to start over, i would have made sure i did not hurt her. but if i could turn back time, pple would have strike 4D every week. so i'll heed her advise and not dwell in the past no more.


i really feel lighter now. i know i can touch her heart once, i can do it again. hopes for salvation? with the right timing and right moves. parts of me are still waiting for u. the parts are my mind and soul. tinking of u only twice every 24hrs, Day & Night. i dreamt of you once again last nite.

TAURUS - The Enduring One

Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.

my heineken... did not drink cuz of foul mood. i toss a coin and it says alcohol. =X
the twin tower with a cup of "i've no idea wad aiden ordered" =P
lookin thru the bottle... suddenly all seems clear
i'm good wif my handphone's camera even while i'm drinking... no use trying to hide aiden!

thks aiden and thomas =) and to all who played a part in helping me to feel better for the past few days. bryan gerwyn jeremy justin eugene shunren. w/o u all, i would have been drunk and wasted and deserted by my mom. yes, its a short 6 mths i noe.. guess it jus goes to show how hurt i was. love & relationships, no right nor wrong nor who to blame. i'll live on normally and wait too. u guys always tell me that don't say this early when i say i will not go into another relationship for the next few years. but bryan is right. get my life back. get my career. be successful first. tats more important.

today i heard this song. the people who sang these, totally insulted the song. off key off pitch off. no feelings. no feelings of being heart broken.

it's a song for the broken hearted. a song for a guy whose love for the girl is so very deep. all he wished is for a chance to make things right. he knows that it's a fact that yesterday is too late but he could do better for the future. just blindly hoping for the chance to come up, with truely sincere apologies.

Ladies & Gentlemen, Bon Jovi's "I'll be there for you"

I guess this time you're really leaving
I heard your suitcase say goodbye
And as my broken heart lies bleeding
You say true love it's suicide

You say you're cried a thousand rivers
And now you're swimming for the shore
You left me drowning in my tears
And you won't save me anymore

Now I'm praying to God you'll give me one more chance, girl

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you

I know you know we've had some good times
Now they have their own hiding place
I can promise you tomorrow
But I can't buy back yesterday

And Baby you know my hands are dirty
But I wanted to be your valentine
I'll be the water when you get thirsty, baby
When you get drunk, I'll be the wine

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you

[Solo]

And I wasn't there when you were happy
I wasn't there when you were down
I didn't mean to miss your birthday, baby
I wish I'd seen you blow those candles out

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you

19th of May 2007

2129hrs

venue: esplanade

event: phantom of the opera

lols. she took my phone and attack me wif the camera while "getting" me to drink water! i was like coughing crazily and eating the cough sweet like mad! then when we went back in, i gotta suppress the cough as hard as i could. the show was damn good! esp when i am watching wif a pretty lady... woo~lala... hahas =P

before the show, i went to fetch her at her old house, her mom was like sitting at the void deck! she was like hurrying into the car and "quickly go quickly go". i was like "why why?" she goes "my mama sitting there only. later she see u! go go!" haha.. so cute!

went to park the car at marina square, kendrick n thaikok spotted ody and was like calling me to disturb me! haha.. try to shake them off but end up they caught us! aww.. den linqian became "my marina square girl".. =X kinda hilarious how things turn out. thaikok was like so quiet and all he said was "ah.. you at your uncle house rite?" and kendrick is like shooting loads of questions.. HAHAHA.. it was a very fun n nice day with loads of pleasant surprises.

we walk around marina square for awhile den stroll to esplanade. when we found our seats, we're quite shocked cuz its like the last row! freaking far away from the stage! after the show went into an interval, we almost thought that the show ended! haha. thats when she snapped the photo of me. we almost left and we're kinda puzzled why people are not leaving yet. then the people start to move in back to their seats and i called my uncle see if he would be able to take a cab home. so sorry! didnt mean it! cuz nvr expect the show to end so late!! we went back in to sit and we secretly took photo of the chandalier! shhh.. =P sorry cannot post the photos. later kena sue.. den the lady come ask if we took photo and we're like "huh? nope, we didn't". she walked away and we're giggling to each other.. wahaha.. after that, we take a walk back to the car and she was pretty tired! poor thing =(

i asked if she would like to have supper before i send her home & she said anything. so we stopped at Geylang Lor 13 to have dim sum. of cuz when we arrive, she was fast asleep. i tried to drive and park as gently as i could but in the end, i know that the reverse sensors will definitely wake her up. beep beep very loud! tats when i saw how cute she was all cuddled up in my windbreaker sleeping so soundly! =)) we went into the shop and i ordered some stuff as usual when we have meals together. she found the food there rather interesting so she took my phone n take photos again. haha. little photo freak! so cute!

chicken porridge! yummy~

the Barley Drink that she got so amazed with! Cuz of the cute way they present their drinks!

yay! =) one full year. don't need to use P plate anymore!

no! =( my portfollio? haha. it is more of a joke! hope i can still get thru man.. i've been down on luck ever since 2008 comes. hope this would work out well! if i get to NYP, cost will be cheaper and i can ride mrt everyday like mad. gerwyn's fire station is nearby too! haha. rocks!

oh yea. gotta call nafa and lasella tomorrow morning.. else i might lose the audition!

man, i feel like i'm betting. my life as my chips. craziness! either i get it or i lose it.

i got too much regrets in life. i cant allow myself to live in regrets anymore..

waltz, thks for ur support! =)

when people take something precious in their life for granted, they will lose this very precious thing before they realise that it is too late.

most of them gave up, some of them waited.
some who waited, gave up and left.
small percentage of them got back what they treasured.
small percentage of them gave up that something precious when they got it back.

i'm one who is waiting for something precious
giving up on the sadness inside
i would not be sure if this precious will still feel the same or stronger
i am not even sure if this precious would return
i am still sad within
time heals
yet every sec every min is a torture in this healing process

i could hear the reluctant in her voice
i could her the frustration in her voice
i could her the anger in her voice
would i still stand a chance?
my waiting is worth.
would my wait have results?
would i have a chance to love this precious as she rightfully deserves?

loving means letting go is so difficult
i need time. more time.

Raindrops are falling on my head - B.J. Thomas.

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed
Nothin' seems to fit
Those raindrops are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'

So I just did me some talkin' to the sun
And I said I didn't like the way he got things done
Sleepin' on the job
Those raindrops are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'

But there's one thing I know
The blues they send to meet me won't defeat me
It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red
Cryin's not for me'
Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because I'm free
Nothin's worryin' me

[trumpet]

It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red
Cryin's not for me
'Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because I'm free
Nothin's worryin' me



song selected by linqian. she asked and i told her i've no songs in mind so she could choose any song for me. i like it pretty much! even had it as my ringtone =) it's kinda like a motivating song. though everything seems negative right now in my life, theres pretty much nothing i could do if i continue to sulk over it. i just need to move on and happiness will some come my way again. am i really free? tat nothin's really worryin' me? i don't really noe myself. let time heal the pain in both her and me bah. while she is adapting and recovering, i'll reflect on myself and recover from this hit as well..

like she always said last time, cheerios! =))

i guess.. this is it...

i've crumbled down. destroyed..

i started out, opening my heart once more to you 6 mths ago. i saw something different in you that made me so mezmerised by you. i was always feeling down n out. you open me up and brought me to smiles & laughters. i became cheerful & tats when i realise how much impact you've made in the darkest period of my life.

one oprea, one kiss, one poke. tats all it takes for you to lift me up and made it known to me that you're the one.

yes, different stages of life is hard to cross over. all your energy is drained. i guess the best way to help you now is to not cross ur path for now huh? normal friends it is then.

you're my target once again.

wad have i done to deserve this ending?

1st day and i'm already feeling the sting! now that the situation have already become like this, i'm not very sure what can i do except for always reprimanding myself. you guys would be either thinking forget her and get on wif life OR if u love her so much, instead of sulking n regretting, tink how to get her back rite?

yea i know, i remember, when u're sad and dejected, u can sit down and feel sorry for urself for all u want. the world still moves, she still get on wif life & u can jus rot. even if ur friends sit by u, they cant always be sittin wif u cuz they've their own lifes too.

for all i know, yes, i'm sulking n not sure wad else i can do. but i'm still gettin on wif my life! she is the girl tat i noe she is the right one. pple may say "everyone everytime also say their girl is the right one. end up oso nothing comes out." but she is jus so different!

so if i love her so much, get her back? yea. i'm waiting right now. she says wait till she feel relax. she ain't sure when and when she feel relax, we can start to meet up as normal friends. i told her sorry, u're my normal friend in the past. u'll nvr be my normal friend anymore. not now nor the future cuz u're my special girl. jus hope u wont be irritated if i ask u out once in awhile. tats the best i can do on my side.

just the 1st day and its already so unbearable. love sick & feeling so handicap. my main emotional pillar tore down right in front of me. i'm not sure how long can i hold on cuz i'm thinking of her day n night. its hard to eat alone & so hard to sleep at night too. but no matter how long it takes for her to feel better again, i'll wait.

please be well fast, cuz i cant wait to show you that i'm able to be the ideal guy for you.
I'll do everything in my ability to get you back.

Today i had a super fall. land on the right side of my right knee. BAM!
tears almost gush out can! man bleed, they dont cry. so i really bleed out.
i quickly push myself up and WOOOOO! burning and argonizing sensation.
i can still walk so tis means tat I'm good to go! Cheap life, won't die so easy.
die already, hell oso dont wan lar.. hahaha.

it is just like life itself.
people are constantly falling down and bouncing back up.
i may fail in lots of things but i won't stop trying till i get them right.
If i stop, i give up, I'll laugh at myself for being such a loser.
Bow down to people you respect, not to failure.
identify mistake, tackle problems with solutions,
conquer failure.

It is always easy to type 'em out or talk about 'em. never is it easy to overcome fears and failures. i may be able to type so much, think about them and talk about them. but i also have issues that are troublesome for me. sometimes i feel so helpless that the only thing i could do is to pray hard that the problem would go away suddenly like some miracle @ work.

I understand that not all people likes to watch cartoons but tough luck. there are much more people who watch cartoons even when they become grown ups. people may think that i would fail and that what i am about to go into is never gonna make big money.

is money really that important? what i seek in this path that i choose is about the passion and legacy that i can leave behind. i was talking to aiden the other day. we both agree that not to live our lives in vain. well, we won't know till we really try out right? and if we fail the first or second time, it does not really matters right? look at walt disney? warner bros? dreamworks, pixar, etc... they solely believes in their own abilities and i'm sure that they failed too many times, more than they've succeeded. what really matters most is never to give up our dreams, hopes and goals right? if i choose an easy way out, to carry on my family's business, i would be living in the shadows of my bro n my mom. i get good money but i die younger cause this is not what where my passion lies...

everyman dies eventually. i can make 999 zillion dollars or more in my life time and make sure that my decendents will not need to work for the next 10 generations. but won't i be bring harm to my family line? everyone growing fat n lazy n jus leeching off the inheritence they get.

it is not what i can get. but what i leave behind that remains immortal.
people seek the fountain of youth or try to use botox jus to try and prolong their youthful complexions. the desire of immortality is there but y not leave a mark in the history of mankind? giving dreams and inspiring future generations to create their own world.

3rd world countries. do u think they seriously just in need of money? they need hopes and inspiration! like all other developed countries who also starts off being a 3rd world. get their creative juices going on and they'll have the proper will to survive. so stop being stupid and keep throwing money where there wont be any results! motivate these people well and let them know that there are more to it den jus being afraid of when they'll dead!


inspiration comes in many forms. does not necessary be cartoon means pple will be inspired to be illustrator or animator. neither does it means that listening to songs will inspire u to be song writer. flexi abit lar. there is another reason why earth is round!

humans are interdependent by nature. we depend on each other to survive thru all harsh conditions that life throws at. no one can survive on his/her own. look at how our economy works? how our indivivual daily life is?

even like in ancient times where there are kings and warlords.. these powerful figures always claims to be yi ren zhi shang, wan ren zhi xia. meaning high above the rest. but can they true be the al'mighty if they do not have "subjects" under their ruling? true enough, a warlord can kill maybe one hundred people in a battle. but he still wont survive if he doesn't have his men wif him.

in modern days, we always look for people to climb on to get to the top and leave ur friends behind or even step on them. this is a result of taking "interdependent" for granted. chinese people say yin shui si yuan & we're taught to nvr forget ur roots. but these values are rarely seen any where anymore.

hello, is there anyone up there? can i indent an armageddon like next week?

CHANGES CHANGES CHANGES....

the only thing that never change is "change" itself...

How successful u become in life, always depend on how fast u can adapt to changes around u.

so the key is "everchanging".

The grass is forever greener on the other side!

tested and clinically proven!why would i say that?

Rich people say they wish they could be poor cuz got money, no life spend.

Poor people say they wish they could be rich cuz got life, no money spend.

Guy say girl don't need to go NS & girl can be really mean to guys.

Girl say Guy don't need to suffer every month & guy can cheat on girls.

Grown up say that they wish they can be children again so they can play and not face reality

Children say that they wish they can grow up so they can earn money to buy alot of things

NSF say that be civilian is the best cuz dont need to suffer anymore

Civilian say that be NSF is the best cuz everything is taken care by govt. food, lodging, money.

Singapore is nice cuz it is warm and no natural disaster but we dont have four seasons like other countries. we even have to deceive ourselfs by organising FOAM PARTIES!! sad.. really sad.. really REALLY SAD!

moral of this post: humans are cheap. (ren shi fan jian de!)

all my life, for the past 20yrs. i've made so much mistakes and bad judgements and lousy decisions. i always wanted to make amendments and when the time is about right, something will always happen to stop me on my tracks. oprah says that luck is preparation meeting opportunity. so does this mean i'm always out of luck? i've all i need and nvr be able to use them.

when i'm in Sec 2, i choose arts & D&T as my sub. the school den take away these two subjects due to lack of students. i go on to sec 3 and fail badly in my humans & got D7 for both of them in my O's. there goes my opportunity even b4 i got my preparation.

den i went to TP to try to apply for an audition nothing went smooth and i ended up in SP doing something i dread. i lost to material engineering and was out of the institute. again, i've the preparation for the audition yet i lost my opportunity. i had the opportunity in SP for a dip but i've no preparation for the course.

den i went on into NS w/o wasting much time. i was selected to be a part of the commandos. i had the opportunity yet i'd no preparation for my knees gave in.

now, i was happily in a relationship. being the most happy guy in my own world. noeing that how fucked up i was in my first relationship, i looked forward to making changes and work things out wif my gf as we go along. i had all the preparations on my side but i still lost cuz i did not take into consideration of my other half. i'm so focus on setting off right and treasuring (or shld i say owning) her that now its kinda messy.

if there is someone up there watching over people, would u please give some attention to us and help us set tings straight again? if all tat is happening now in my life is a test for me, can u please give me a sign as to when the test will end? or if this is an idea of a sick joke, y dont u try running a car thru me? its nice to see me splatter u noe?

THE QUICK BROWN FOX JUMPS OVER THE LAZY DOG.

WOOF WOOF ROOF ROOF LOOF LOOF...

now i'm in depression already lar! i already have no confidence in myself anymore. why must you keep throwing boulders at me? i've told you i'm not interested in electrical works le! don't force me hao mah? then you tell me to go into archie.. die die must be a career that you think that can make good money to support a family. have some faith in me can? i'm already having so much problems of my own and yet instead of encouraging words, i'm given these kind of "words of advise"... listen already oso no mood lor. cuz u always likedat talk to me ar, gimme more problems ar, make me & my gf more problems oso u noe. i sad, i wan to talk to her, she listen already oso sian. den i feel more sian. like garbage likedat. stack more n more den become very very smelly.. den later i cannot tahan how?

times are different already. i jus wish to choose my own career path. i oso noe you walk down this life not easy. i oso noe u from no electrical knowledge do until now can handle ur own projects. but do u noe that i have my own set of thinking? do u noe i have things that i wan to do?

i'm a creator. i wan to create my own empire jus like u wad. you open one business after another. from electrical to now construction... you came from a time where there is no choice but i'm from a time where i can choose. i wan to work for my passion not work for my survival. cuz i believe that work for my passion, i've that edge to push myself to do much better. dont do things by going thru the motion, tats wad my PC use to tell us.

if i always win & everything goes smooth, i will not be a true winner rite? only a failure will truely become successful. it is common to lose but the kick is whether i'm going to give up anot.

u can do it, y not me?

say hello to patrick!! he use to live under a rock, under the sea! but now, he resides in my house. cuz my dear bought him and gave him to me so i won't be alone =)

she says :"actually i wan to buy for myself one. but aiya, put in the car end up also become i hug! so it doesn't matter lar" lols...

first of Jan, 2008. very first blog post of the year.

Ms Tay Lin Qian,

People always say that falling in love with someone is easy and keeping it going on is hard. It's been 6 mths since we're together! strictly speaking, our relationship is very short & there are still more to go on. I know that i've been very naughty, always making you angry and sad and irritated. I will change de, u can bet on it =) now, i won't go on blabbering about all the issues so, don't worry okay? all i want to say is, please forgive me! then next, i would like to thank you for being so patient with me yet i keep pissing you off. and all the little sweet things that you've done for me. i appreciate them very much! i always focus on changing you that i lost myself. so, a BIG thank you to my darling for nvr tinking of walking out on me!

congrats on your new school! tomorrow is your first day of the next 2 years as a JC student! i'm proud of you and have faith in you that you will make not just your parents proud but, me as well! =) let's focus on our studies and balance out our fun for the next few years okay? i know you never like me to talk about this issue but, anybody dare to woo you, i'll scare them away far far! because you tell me that school is a place for studying & you don't wan to make your parents sad so you want to concentrate. i will assist you and help u in any ways i could & one way is to ensure that i do well for my studies as well. so u can count on it ya?

k lar, i dont go on le. i'll leave the rest for the future =)

hunny