To me, there are different groups of friends, like everyone else, grouping people they know into categories and interacting with them as according to the groups they're in.

Acquaintances - People who I know they exist and they know I exist. Conversation is very minimal.

Friends - People who I keep in contact with who are not very often but still, we know a lil' of each others' information and stuff.

Good Friends - People who I would talk to every nowandthen, maybe meet once in some donkey years.

Close Friends - People who I would share my thoughts with. People who I would usually talk to maybe almost everyday and meet up whenever the oportunity arises.

Buddies/Brothers - Guys who I will really give my life for whenever needed. People who I've nothing to hide from. People who know me (almost?) inside out.

Regardless of all these groupings, anyone who calls me to ask for help, I would do whatever I can within my ability. I would always tell them to call me anytime. My phone will always be switched on 24hrs and I will do my best to wake up even when 3 or 5am.

It is only human to err.
The last thing I would ever want is to bastard anyone or lie. Maybe along the road, I did things that you think/feel that I shouldn't have, if you know me well enough, you will know I would never mean to hurt anyone. Tell me straight in the face and I'm sure thing will work out. Even at the slightest doubt, just raise your question. Even when clueless about what question to ask, just raise the topic. I would apologise if I'm wrong even though I do not believe in apologies. Action does speak louder than words. Right the wrongs not just apologies.

An Inconvenient Truth? (more like Numerous Inconvenient Truths)

Is Singapore's awareness problem ever going to be solved? Or is the whole human society experiencing the same thing?

What is with the mentality of "I don't think I would be so unlucky to catch a virus" or "No matter what it is, I'm sure it won't be me"? What is with the younger females nowadays who just sits carelessly while wearing skirts or hot pants? or goes out carelessly with guys who they're not so familiar with?

I'm sure who ever comes up with the word "Victim", did not just make this word for fun. Virus infections on people who are caught off guard, when sick, who do not seek medical advice and carelessly spreading it to every other people who came in contact with them. Females who got caught on photos or tapes or even both, with footages that aren't meant to be. Kidnaps, rapes, molestations, drugged, etc...

Is it so difficult to seek medical help when obviously your body isn't recovering on it's own?
Is it so difficult to sit properly, stand properly, watch the people whom u go out with properly and carefully study your surrounding (esp. in places that you're not that familiar with)?

So many tragedies that could've been avoided, are happening everywhere! What will it take for people to know that these could happen to anyone?

"有 无 相 生 ， 难 易 相 成 ， 长 短 相 形 ，
高 下 相 盈 ， 音 声 相 和 ， 前 后 相 随 。"


Like how Silence defines Noise, Tall defines short, Good defines Bad.
Without criminals, police would not exist.
Without break ups, people would know nothing of treasure.

all is one, one is all.
Without one, all would not survive.
Without all, one would not live.

*************************************************************

After knowing and reading part of the 道德经，I realise being a taoist is more than just visiting the temples for prayers. Every bit of understanding brings me peace.
The philosophy and way of life. Simple yet profound.

oh my tian...

It's been a really krazy month. Brother going in for enlistment, maternal grandma fell down and paternal grandma caught the cough virus as well as myself. Got stung by a bee, broke my own toe nail.

Alot of people sees driving as a necessary skill to have. Alot of youngsters sees driving as more of pleasure than a necessary skill. I used to enjoy driving alot. The speed, the adrenaline, techniques to improve fuel consumptions and pleasurable driving experience for my passengers. Now, it becomes really tiring and taxing. Especially shuttling b/w home, grandma's house and hospital. I ran a few red lights already and it is obvious I find it hard to concentrate on the road.

Money money money. No money no talk. Money cannot buy happiness but happiness can merely exist without money. I need a new laptop or desktop. Especially when I'm in animation now. Just when I'm designing shirts, I get stung by bee. Of course I feel very sad for the bee. Much more sadder than my swollen finger which deny me the usuage of my pencil. Well, I just hope I can recover fast.

Studying in NAFA. Studying design. Studying what I want to do and be in the future. This has never been an easy road to go. I never get 100% support from my family. My mother whose words means the whole world to me, would often discourage me to do design yet encourage me to do what I like. Of course I do understand she is worried that I would not make a living from designing or animation but I do not want to regret not doing what I want when I'm on my death bed. I'm greatful to my sis for giving me a tablet as my present. that really helped me alot and it'll go a even longer way with this useful tool.

It's really really difficult when nobody is there to support the things I want to do. One minute telling me to go all out and pursue what I want to do, the next, encouraging me to quit and help her in her construction company.

I'm so tired. Tired of all the drivings and all the encouragement that I have to imagine as if it was there. Tired of taking care of prople who are trying to take care of me. Always putting others before self is such a harsh and difficult resolve.

actually I've so much things to say out and yet I don't know how to phrase them. I don't even expect anyone to understand what I've been typing. haha.

LIFE IS A JOKE. BUT IT STILL GOES ON...

blah blah blaaaahh...

feeling so moody today. have been tinkin over n over about things that I want and things that I can have. What should I do?

There is a rite of passage that every mother's son of Singapore has to go through.
The passage that was said to turn boys into men.
Today I sent my brother to that rite of passage.

How would things turn out for him? I know he will be an outstanding soldier, one that I would not be able to be. Yet after going through so much, I just couldn't help but to be worried a little. Just a little =) There is a strong sense of nostalgia throughout that 4hours or so. To go back to a place I went before even though I wasn't from Tekong. Though we enlist at a different location, the oath we took were the same. The oath to protect the very land we live in.

Many says National Service is a waste of time. Is it really a waste of time?

Though many had said that they would run away when a war really hits Singapore, I do not know deep down if they would really do so but for me, I would do as much as I can. A place that I call home, I will not allow anything to happen to the family who resides in this very home. I'm sure people who said they would run would in the end stay behind to ensure their family's safety =)

Apart from all these war war stuff, I feel NS is still essential to every brother from another father mother of Singapore because besides from the bonding being special, we learn to deal with things we do not like even at the very least bit. We learn to accept what is need to be done and we learn to never run away from responsibilities and mistakes that we make. We face severe punishment when we commit mistakes and we learn not to repeat the mistakes. We learn that after every decision made, there are results and consequences. In army terms, we learn to LLST, which means "Lan Lan Suck Thumb". There is this arm stoke man who always shout at us during my recruit time. He would always say "Eh fucking recruits. suck it up and move on!" haha. I learn that there is no use crying over spilled milk.

To me, it's not the wide range of weaponry that turn boys into men. It's the hidden lessons that we've to pick up on our own that turn us into men. I did not regret the way things turned out in the end. I'm glad to know so many people who helped me through my 2years and I'm grateful to them too.

P.S. I used to hear people say freedom after ORD but from where I see, we merely moved from one smaller cage into another bigger cage.

Was on our way home after grandma's medi appt when we saw this really old school pick-up! even the ah peh is old school! He was wearing that very thin white shirt and standard ah peh grey long pants. Suddenly feels like the 1960s...

why do you always feel so real in my dreams?
every single time you never fail to feel like you're really here.
you felt so real that I do not wish to wake up.
what do I have to do?
to be with you again or to forget this feelin' once & for all.

after waking up, the rest of the day seems to past so slowly.
i hate this part right here.

said i'm so sick of love songs
so tired of tears.
so done with wishin'
she was still here.
said i'm so sick of love songs
so sad and slow.
why can't i turn off the radio?


one bad thing after the other...
flu.. results.. whats next?
the bad lighting in my house is already killing me..
so i guess the next thing should be my eyes deteriorate?

I dont want to stay at home.
I dont want to go out.
I do know what I want but...
..I'm beginning to doubt the phrase "Nothing is impossible".

anyone got any freelance lobang?

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face
I can't replace
And now that I'm stronger I've figured out

How this world turns cold
And breaks through my soul
And I know, I'll find deep inside me
I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's okay, it's okay, it's okay

Seasons are changing and waves are crashing
And starts are falling all for us

Days grow longer and nights grow shorter

I can show you, I'll be the one

I will never let you fall

I'll stand up with you forever

I'll be there for you through it all

Even if saving you sends me to heaven

'Cause you're my, you're my, my

My true love, my whole heart

Please don't throw that away

'Cause I'm here for you

Please don't walk away

Please tell me you'll stay, stay

Use me as you will

Pull my strings just for a thrill

And I know, I'll be okay

Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall

I'll stand up with you forever

I'll be there for you through it all

Even if saving you sends me to heaven

I will never let you fall

I'll stand up with you forever

I'll be there for you through it all

Even if saving you sends me to heaven

I will never let you fall

I'll stand up with you forever


Your Guardian Angel - Red Jumpsiot Apparatus

A goal would only exist when backed by a purpose.

A purpose would only exist with the existence of a desire.

A desire is triggered by "lack".

"lack" basically means "not having".

When one has nothing of what another has, he finds a desire for that certain something. When this desire surfaces, he would have a purpose of wanting that certain something. With this purpose in mind, he makes it his goal to obtain.

I do not easily have desires of having something that others have which I dont. This would lead to the desire not existing, which would not allow me to have a purpose which eventually gives no meaning to a goal.