"Your Guardian Angel"

When I see your smile

Tears roll down my face I can't replace

And now that I'm strong I have figured out

How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul

And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one

I will never let you fall (let you fall)

I'll stand up with you forever

I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)

Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

Seasons are changing

And waves are crashing

And stars are falling all for us

Days grow longer and nights grow shorter

I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall (let you fall)

I'll stand up with you forever

I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)

Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart

Please don't throw that away

Cuz I'm here for you

Please don't walk away and Please tell me you'll stay woah, stay woah

Use me as you will

Pull my strings just for a thrill

And I know I'll be okay

Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall

I'll stand up with you forever

I'll be there for you through it all

Even if saving you sends me to heaven

[to fade]

Mr Cho Jiacai! birthday boy on the day after X'mas...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY TO JIACAI~!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.

* CLOSE UP!*

Make a fish, make a fish... (okay, i noe it is not funny)...

*i wonder wad he wished for!!!* hmmm..

Well, 21 already. OLD man.. haha! den after tonite, u've no way to say u're 18 or 20 cuz u're 21! wahaha!

Taurus

the Beauty of Pure Strength & Raw Power.

the moth!! this little fella had been camping on top of the lift outside my home for the past few days! don't really know why. maybe it is tired or something. lols.

Seoul Garden with Gerwyn 231207.

We kind of have a problem about where & what to eat. So we decided to relack, chill & eat while we chat. After that we went to get DVD-R, CD case & voodoo dolls for gerwyn's X'mas party with his Poly frens! He was so pai seh to buy lor! keep asking me to choose as well. lols.

Gerwyn, the shop assistant does not look like shin.. *ahem* u noe who i'm talking about. =P

Kopithiam with Linqian 211207

two days before her malaysia trip! wanted her to have something nice before she goes 3days without accessibility to her fave food. she says that the new batch of people doesn't cook nice Spicy Ban Mian/U Mian. And i bought 50€ worth of ikan bilis, WRONG MOVE!! cause we couldn't finish that 50€ worth. well, as people normally say, food must be small portion so it'll be more delicious when we fight for it. lols.

Welcome to ZHNG my dino!

a nice sturdy & hard shell if i would say so myself!

For those who didn't noe. tis dino is a X'mas present given by my late 7th aunt (mother's younger sister). i can't rmb how old i was but it is definately one of the oldest pushie i have. one that i will nvr throw away! he use to make alot of noise when we press his stomach but as time goes by, he grows old & does not sound as loud as before. the images of that day i got him, is still fresh in my mind. lovely X'mas present. =)

mmmmm.... ah ma's tang yuan.
all peanuts!!! i love~...

If really one tang yuan means 1 yr older, i'll be like 200yrs old or smth! =P

nobody is a saint. there are alot of situations where i know that i should not feel angry or sad but it is just a human thing to feel this way. no ways to stop! you know like how a cat never fails to land on their legs? like how a vulture circles around a dying animal that may seem fine to you?

basic instinct. humans are animals too. animals with a gift to think and commune. and living things live by their instinct. its nature at work. cant be stop. cant be changed. we only involve & then will our instinct evolve as well.

never blame someone for being too emotional or feel too strong upon certain issues! don't blame people for killing each other over a soccer match! put yourself in their shoes! THINK! think for the love of your fellow humans. WHAT? u mean you don't feel offended if something you feel strongly for is being insulted? if we force ourselves to not be angry or sad when we're suppose to be, then why do we have these feelings?

How will you live life again IF u can hit the restart button?

hmm.. if i'm to live my life again. i'll hit the button when i am 80yrs old. by then i would have taste most of what life has to dish out on me. i would wan to get into an art's school the moment i can pick up a pen. i would wan to live in a family that encourages me to pursue my dreams. i will concentrate fully on doing wad i love most. i'll change the world as much as i can. den i'll die when i finish doing wad i wan to do.

to make it short, i'll live my life in regrets and make mistakes like there is no tomorrow and suffer as much as i can. after that, i'll hit the button & live my life to the max! enjoy every small little things. sweet little details. seeking perfection & love flaws in life. most imptly, watch the clouds and fall aslp doing so with someone i love.



life's short. there is no buttons for restart. y bare all these grudges and negative thots? i noe i do so myself. but i'm still tryin to change. =)

X'mas?

i'm a freaking chinese for "dua peh gong"'s sake! celebrate xmas? HA HA.

Do i look like a banana?

Do u see me eating patato?

All these festive shit... meaningless... troublesome.....

i just wan to get drunk & wasted like last year.......................................................................

efforts.

Never ask how much effort is needed, ask how much you can give.

The Attack of Giant Octopusssss!!

Roar!! Once upon a ocean, there lives a big giant pink octopus, name octo. She likes to swim around the ocean and eat fishes. the end. lol...

What is life?

Life is about passion.

Life is about making mistakes and learning from them.

Life is about living large

Life is about simplicity

Life is about survival

Life is about so many things. Life for me, is about living to the fullest & trying to not have any regrets. Life is short. Life is about turning dreams to reality. I may sound disheartening at times but i'm clear of which direction i'm suppose to head for. I do not restrict myself to one path but the ultimate goal will never shift. I am not defiant, just have a mind of my own. I am not stubborn, just have my own way of doing things. I am not naggy, just that i say what i feel like. I am not lazy, just sluggish and the time is still not right.

I am easily misunderstood. No one knows me very well because i've many different me. I know there are alot of people like me. But to be different from them, i try to adapt fast & try to let go of things i know is impossible. patience is a key of utmost importance. i do not have enough patience but i'm doing what i could to grow more of them.

I'm not perfect. I'm flawed in alot of ways. Flaws are what makes this world ever changing and so beautiful. I'll work on my flaws but i need people to pin point them to me. So please say my flaws nicely to my face =) i'll be happy to listen.

a thin fine line...

There is always a thin fine line b/w millions of things that are similar.

like,
right and wrong, able to do and want to do, hope to have and want to have, dream and ambition, being defiant and making your own choices, etc... ...

it all boils down to the different perceptions of people from all walks of life. People change even w/o knowing. As we grow, we learn new things and we adapt to new surroundings and thus we change the surroundings that we live in. we affect everyone around us and change people around as with our actions and speeches and little habits in our daily lifes.

i feel that people who says "i am who i am, please don't change me" or "i love who i am now, i don't wish to change" are people who would not be able to last long in this ever changing society. very soon, little by little, these people will be outcasted by people around them. simply cuz they will always fail to see what their generally wrong in, in the general perception of man.

for example, barney is suppose to be a purple dinosaur rite? imagine this. if toy manufacturers ard the world start producing red barney, green barney or even rainbow barney. will the original still be the real barney? true enough that people would say the real will still be the real. it is a fact. but "fact" is determined by humans ain't it? doesn't this mean that "fact" can be altered?

the only thing that will never change in this world, is "CHANGE" itself. think abou it. =)

chocolates from ch❤colate Arts.

and the chocolate goes like this:

S O O N ❤ T E C K

and these chocolate goes like this:

C H A N D R I K A

thank you my dear for going to vivo with me to make these gifts =)

Xiang Long Chi Bah Zhang! oops, i mean shi ba zhang.. =P

Camera man : ME!

Actors : Derek & Jia Cai

Special Effects : Thomas & ME!

Special Thanks to bryan's smoke generator & thomas for holding the generator!!

Camera man : Thomas

Actor: Jia Cai & Shunren

Special Effects : ME!

Special Thanks to bryan for this smoke generator

ORD er yi, mei she mo liao bu qi.

Finally i understand the true meaning of ORD. it is nothing much. in fact, i feel tat the grass is greener in the army. Simply cause i'm all being spoon fed too well by the govt that i actually forgot how tough and how evil the outside world is.

- army gives me money every month, now i've to go work to get money every month.
- army gives me proper food, now i've to go far far to give myself proper food.
- army gives me job scope so i don't need to think, now i've to think what i need to do.
- army gives me freedom within restrictions, now i've no restrictions thus there goes my freedom.

ORD is like exiting from a small cage then going on, into a bigger cage.

ORD is like slamming you in the face with reality. *ar bish!*
"here you go, your freedom to suffer and die in the cruel world"

well, i'm more lucky then normal people i guess. cause my parents have their own business going on. But army make me so nuah to a point where i just wish to slug at home all day! Ending up with more excuses to tell myself (e.g. there is always tomorrow, maybe later i will go work, still got time lar, etc... ...) BUT, there are still times where i'll try to motivate myself, telling myself that if i don't work, i no money. i work, got money to repay my debts and got money to keep n all. (as u can see, these didn't really work! =X)
*note: i'm nt blaming the ARMY. more like cause of my own laziness and sluggishness... HAHA!!

anyway, still have yet to check out lassella & nfa!!! after the 7% increase, i wonder if lasella will be like nafa, $4k a year.. hmmm... kinda have this bad feeling about the audition lor. hais. although monish tell me his exp when he go for TP, i still feel scared!! so hard to lay the pencil on the paper! mind always go blank. siao liao..

brain dead! now, dunno wad to type liao. lol..

beautiful grey stallion

nothin' beats gettin stuck in a traffic jam

with STYLE...

now who says buying a super car in singapore is a STUPID IDEA?

missing since 091205 ~ 071207

freedom... comes in the form of sweet pink?

or...

is it the key to more troubles and problems?

Mixed feelings…

ORD LOH!

ORD LOH!!!
CPL (NS) NG TIAN WEN
or maybe.....
Mr NG TIAN WEN

hahaha. shiok lar.

well, after 2 full years in national service, i'm glad that all these came to a good end. all the good n bad times n those unforgettable ones along wif the friends that i've made.

Foo FB Sir - thank you for taking care of me when i was out of the commandos. though we always OT and work on Saturdays, but those were very enjoyable days. It brings me great pleasure and honour to have known such a veteran soldier like you.

Teo TB Sir - thank you for taking me under your wing to serve at the mess as a steward. i know it is not exactly a vocation but still, i'd lots of fun serving and chatting with you and all the other Officers and WOSEs. i heard alot of great stories and experiences.

Derrick Foong Sir - thank you for taking care of me even after i was out of your platoon. i remember the stories you told and the great determination of yours. esp when you tell us joke and u didnt even smile once! and when you bring us for route march, you nvr fail to squeeze every last bit of juice out of us! =P you're hell of an awesome soldier and your ride is slick.

Seow ST Sir - thank you for taking care of me when i was posted to your side. my gratitude for you is beyond words. the gift is jus something small that i could do within my means. hope you will have a better life when you're posted to ur new unit!! =P

Hiap YP Sir - please refer to previous blog post.

Foong TW Sir - thank you for looking out for me when all the courses kept coming to me! w/o you, i would have not been able to re-vocate into an ASA! =P

Chandrika Mdm - thank you for taking care n looking out for me for the 1.5yrs i spend at the mt line. the chocolates are jus a small token from me. and i cherish the days when i work under you. from detailing to admin support. those were valuable experiences i'll nvr forget.

Staff Soh - thank you for taking care of me. w/o you, i would have a very big headache for my pes status issue. it is always fun to hang out in ur med ctr and you're ever so friendly. i sincerely thank you for your hospitality and generousity.

*if there is anyone that i've left out, i apologise deeply & would hope that you will know that you've made a very big impact in my life.

Friends made:
monish, daobo, chee cheong, soon xiong, kendrick, francis, gary, jensen, terence, xiao xu, ah gan, kwee meng, jeow ming wei, liang tian wean, chris, ah ho, sanjay, prem, vicky, kenneth ong, veggie boy, jie fan, teo kk, ah wu, jackie, menzies, shi yi, sunil, alan, etc... ....

gosh, so much more names... thanks for being my friends and all the best!

Mr Hiap! A.K.A. Hiap lao tou A.K.A. lao you zi...
the dark vader of pasir ris mt line...
the ripper, terror, master of darkness....
mouth as sharp as a stiletto...
voice as loud as a grumpy lion...
(okay, i noe i am getting very dramatic...)

Mr Hiap... it started wif FEAR den as time goes by, it became RESPECT...


It is around May 06' when i'm posted to PRC CMTL. Without knowledge of anybody or how this place is operating, i was brought to this guy. when he start to speak, my thot was "OH MY GOD! WHAT ON EARTH DID I DO IN THE ARMY TO DESERVE THESE!?!". He ask me, i can't run, can't carry heavy things, can't stand too long, what can i do? i didn't answer so, he put me under Ms Chandrika A.K.A. Mdm Chand. after that, i spend the whole day stamping papers! Of cuz, a man of my talents cannot be wasted just likedat for the rest of my NS days rite? (haha, i'm jus kidding) So, he discover i could do more & put me to do "Detailing" with mdm chand. After that, there is some manpower shuffle that he made and i started to do those admin stuff in mt line. (long story, wont go in any deeper)

He is always late for work cuz he stays at jurong!! and he is famous for the lorry he drives everyday! Everyone in mt line is always hoping he'll be on leave or MC or even go for meeting!! so this just goes to show how much we hope he isn't in mt line! laughs!! he'll always be standing at the corridor of the office level, looking out to the servicing bay & the smoking area, shouting most of the time. he does not like to see people not doin anything. meaning, u can pretend to work for all he cares, JUST MOVE YOUR ASS! he'll always be getting the old birds (lao jiao) to buy curry puffs or kueys and a packet of kopi-o when canteen break comes.

you better not be on his target list! cuz he is like a sniper and you'll be like an elephant standing 50m away! i was on his list before, that is the FEAR part. but he does have a soft side. after being in the force for 20+ yrs, seeing so many things that happened which he wish he could have foresee, he became more understanding and friendlier. he started to smile much more and look at things like chinese people say "kan kai". from him, i'd learn quite alot!

last segment of this post, i would like to personnally thank him. Uncle Hiap, thank you for your lectures and teachings for the past 1yr. you truely fulfill the roles of a CSM and much more. your tongue lashings and drastic measures are always done with the whole of mt line in your mind. we came in as soldiers behaving like lazy kids and became who we're now cuz of you. i know that there are still people who did not change a single bit but, who cares? you did what you could and the rest is up to them. i truely enjoy my days working under you and wish you the best for you & your future, as well as your family.

your faithful soldier,
CPL (NS) NG T W
MAY 2006 - APRIL 2007

schooling after 3yrs? 3more days to ORD!

seriously lar. i really dunno wad to do now. i know that i've to go check out schools and try to get into one. but dunno why, "wo xin wu li, yu ye bu zhu"...

eversince after i enlist, i've hardly touch the pencil!! i tink hard but nth appears. i relax and nth comes in. i use to have these images or wad i call "inspiration" that flashes across my mind that i would draw them out but they jus doesnt come to me anymore!! last time, w/o thinking much (or even NOT thinkin at all) i could draw something out within 5mins. geez... aiden says maybe i've too much goin on in my mind tats y. he ask me to sort my problems out first but as far as i can see, i cant cuz my problems cant be solve by me alone.

entry to nafa gotta be full time (cuz MOE says so). i gotta go for the audition cuz my O's are nt very good. in the audition, i gotta draw on the spot with the given theme. i gotta explain via an essay on why i drew wad i draw. den lastly why i wan to go nafa.

reason for me going to nafa (if i really am) is very simple. i have many dreams when i was young. scientist, fire fighter, policeman, etc... i'll always picture myself doing what they do & unknowingly, i'll draw them out. i'm sure u all roughly have a picture of a young boy's impression of wad i mentioned above. so, when i get into pri sch, my mom even help me get into chinese painting as my ECA. love it hell lots. i got this cat painting which is supposingly "tamed" but it end up looking firece. hahaha. my dad frame tat up. even got my name on it. den i have this other one wif bamboos and goldfishes. i love tat even more cuz its put into a scroll! but tat one is missing (guessin tat my parents threw it away unintentionally when we move house). den when i got into sec sch, i realise that instead of being scientist, fire fighters, policeman, etc... i love to draw much much more! i like to watch earth visions & read national geog cuz i can see many different views of the world. i wish i could capture them on a piece of paper. den i dream of myself being an artist.

as i grew up, i watch numerous cartoons and have strong impressions of them. i felt that cartoon, drawing, animation, moving pictures, are very amazing. motion pictures are like a very powerful double-edged sword. if used wrongly, people can create a world of unwanted chaos. violence, sexual contents, abuse, etc...
if used correctly, education will be easy! anti-war, anti-terrorism, filial piety, etc... esp when a child's mind is like a sponge. using the world of art is the best way to get to them. in this world of art, we create. creators who give shapes n forms to anything and everything man-made. with the ability to draw, we can create a world of flying humans even if humans does not have wings! we can create elephants that fly! nothing is impossible in this realm. dare to dream. dare to show. dare to share. arts gives hope. today we draw flying cars, tomorrow we invent flying cars, b4 we noe it, we're siting in one & maybe even be free of traffic jams!

i've an ambition. once a dream. i wan to do my best & create motion pictures to inspire children in the future. to encourage them to dream. to live their dreams. daringly turn mere dreams into ambitions. to be like thomas to bring light to humans even in the darkest night.

so y i wanna go nafa (if i really am going)? cuz this is a path tat i need if i wan to achieve my ambition.

031207 (5days to ORD)

ever got the feeling that your life no longer belongs to you? like you're not able to make your own decisions anymore?

the moment we're born to this world, we've already started to affect everybody's life around us. i'm not sure if everything happens at certain time is already being pre-arranged but, i sure do know that every actions and decisions one make, will make a difference in the lifes of everyone who are linked to that person.

now, my life is affected by my grandma and my uncle. buying meals everyday for grandma and fetching uncle home every night. trying to delay breakfast then buy brunch for my grandma instead. always hoping that my siblings would help me to settle my grandma's meal. i mean, it is our responsibility as her grandchildren lor. if it is cause i've a driving licence so i've to buy for her almost every meal right? i've stated my stand before, i can and i will not drive if this really bothers u guys okay? and i did not exactly wan to drive SO much alrite? do i look like a chauffer? cab driver? delivery man? at least ask b4 hand and say thanks after tat rite? and i do have my own life lor. i've places to go and friends to meet. dont lecture me and question me where i go, wad i do & how much money i spend ok? i use my own money i got from NS lor. since when did i keep probing you guys' private lifes? so now, from where i see, you all are trying to say that u guys can go out or choose to be lazy, while i cant?
next, fetching uncle is not my sole responsibility as well okay? i'm seriously stressing the fact tat i'm not demanding to NOT fetch uncle anymore ok? i jus need you guys to share my burden lar. got the kia rio and honda fit, not jus one honda odyssey ok? take turns can anot? i've said b4. i got my own life. u sat night go out, den i dont need lar? so am i suppose to sacrifice my life to chauffer uncle and aunty forever?

i've tried to voice all these problems to my mother b4, yet nothing is changing. siblings still settle grandma's dinner as n when they wan & cousin still fetches uncle n aunt as n when he wan/could. am i suppose to jus keep quiet? i'm tired. i know none of you all care... but dont force me off the wall. i'll get my licence revoke if i go nuts.

driving licence, a burden so heavy that i can't hold on much longer.. breaking down...