OhMyTians....
Fever! highest, 39.3... now, 38.5!
Whole day blur blur..
Whole day hot hot..
Whole day aching everything..
Faints..

Miyamoto Musashi (宮本 武蔵) also known as Shinmen Takezō, Miyamoto Bennosuke, or by his Buddhist name Niten Dōraku. The founder of the Hyōhō Niten Ichi-ryū or Niten-ryū style of swordsmanship, who is considerably the greatest swordman that ever lived. The author of The Book of Five Rings (五輪書, Go Rin No Sho), a book on strategy, tactics, and philosophy that is still studied today.

The Dokkodo (独行道 Dōkkōdō)
"The Path of Aloneness" or "The Way to be Followed Alone"
This work was written a week before he died in 1645.

1. Accept everything just the way it is.
2. Do not seek pleasure for its own sake.
3. Do not, under any circumstances, depend on a partial feeling.
4. Think lightly of yourself and deeply of the world.
5. Be detached from desire your whole life long.
6. Do not regret what you have done.
7. Never be jealous
8. Never let yourself be saddened by a seperation.
9. Resentment and complaint are appropriate neither for oneself or others.
10. Do not let yourself be guided by the feeling of lust or love.
11. In all things have no preferences.
12. Be indifferent to where you live.
13. Do not pursue the taste of good food.
14. Do not hold on to possessions you no longer need.
15. Do not act following customary beliefs.
16. Do not collect weapons or practice with weapons beyong what is useful.
17. Do not fear death.
18. Do not seek to possess either goods or fiefs for your old age.
19. Respect Buddha and the gods without counting on their help.
20. You may abandon your own body buy you must preserve your honour.
21. Never stray from the way

Finally when to dig out some photos I took this month with my handphone!

Justin's Bday Dinner @ Sushi Tei

Photos Taken during Malaysia Trip...
My bro spotted this lil' kitten while we're looking for the famous hainanese chicken rice balls. My bro wanted to bring the kitten home BUT obviously we can't.
This tiny little kitten can hardly balance itself when it's walking!
Some graffiti we saw while STILL on the search for the chiken rice balls...... *HUNGRY!!!*
View from the Balcony of Hotel Equatorial Melaka
Sis is saying that this is a 4 star hotel which actually is a 5 star =S
This is one of the Lifts in Jusco (shopping mall in malaysia)
Notice the buttons... SOMETHING seems to be missing...??

Back in Singapore.....
Sometimes, I just do not understand Singaporeans...
Notice how this Merc is waiting to make a U-turn?
with half his car's body taking up one whole lane while blocking all the vehicles that are coming in his direction.. HAHAHA... =X

It has been quite a while since I've posted anything.
It seems that those "dark times" are coming back!
What do I mean by "dark times"?

Feeling lonely... Wishing that there is someone I can take care of, hug, give a peck on her cheek, say jokes to, have meals, watch movies with, etc... ... BUTBUTBUT...

I'm still able to "tahan"! After all, aftermath of relationships always end up pretty ugly... I constantly remind myself of what my mother told me. And from where I see, I am still pretty far from being able to support myself! So since I can't even take care of my own life, I should not drag anybody down with me. For my sake and more for my potential other half's sake, I will "tahan".

21st July, I'll be starting my course. So wish that I can start ASAP! Meanwhile, I'm still in the midst of expanding my portfolio so I can source for freelance jobs. Obviously nothing much is working out. Bank account is running dry! Can't possibly be reaching my hands out to my mother for money everytime right? My sis is right for I'm already 21. If I can't contribute, at least do not be a burden.

TRYING TRYING TRYING. Trying means nothing done. Stop using the word "TRY" and use "DO" instead. Even when you fail, you're still moving on. It'll be much better than getting stuck on the same spot trying to move on.

interesting. first time doing survey on my blog.
since someone personally request me to do. i shall oblige.

#1 If your lover betray you what will you do?
- likedat lor. lan lan suck thump lor.

#2 If you can have a dream that will come true, what will it be?
- world peace *smile* haha. bull shit crap.

#3 What will your dream wedding be like?
- i fully prepared to be single till the day i die.

#4 Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
- confused? why think so much of what i'm uncertain of?

#5 What is your ideal lover like?
- loving caring true & problem solving. oh, she gotta like babies, kids, old folks & my mom. but as i've said, i'm prepared to stay single till i die.

#6 Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
- Only the loving will find love without looking for one. I choose loving everyone.

#7 How long do you intend to wait for someone you love?
- I've all the time in the world.

#8 If the person that you secretly like is attached what will you do?
- Wish them all the best. i'm not a very competitive person when it comes to these kind of situations. After all, don't pple always say, "to love someone, let them go?"

#9 Is there anything that has made you unhappy these few days?
- oh hell, the driving experience from Malaysia to Singapore. haha.

#10 What do you want most in life?
- Contentment

#11 Do you like being tagged?
- in what sense?

#12 How do you see yourself in ten years time?
- I'll know how I am in ten years time.

#13 Who are the most important people in your life now?
- Everybody

#14 What kind of person do you think that person that tag you is?
- I haven't have the slightest idea.... hmmm...

#15 If you could ask a request from anyone and the person would fulfill it, what would it be?
- Disney, please give me an opportunity to work at your studio! lol

#16 What is the first thing you do every morning?
- Wake up to sleep even more?

#17 Would you give it all in a relationship?
- Foolishly, yes.

#18 If you fall in love with 2 person at the same time, who would you pick?
- HAHA! i'm laughing my ass off right this moment. I might have a better chance winning in toto. you know whats the best part? i don't buy toto. LOL

#19 What type of friends would you like?
- Truthful ones. No matter if they hide things from me. as long as they dont lie to me. even if they say things that hurts me. tats wad friends are suppose to be.

#20 If you played a prank on someone and they fell for it what will you do?
- have a good laugh and apologise after that. blindly fall for their revenge prank if they design one for me.

so thats all?

hmm. 3days 3Nites, 512km.
starting from malaysia custom to back home.
use around a total of 1 full tank plus a little bit more.
Top Speed : 180km/h (1ms)

to malaysia via 2nd Link (Tuas)
to home via Woodlands

brain dead! mental block. *see stars*

okay lar.
shop n shop lor.
eat n eat lor.
sleep n sleep lor.

1st day - Tepanyaki buffet, Weird Meleka dishes.
2nd day - Hainanese Chicken Rice, Tepanyaki Buffet.
3rd day - Prata, Steamboat, Seafood tze char.

Wah sians. i jus discover that my hp do not have pay as u roam thing. so troublesome. anyways.

driving into malaysia is freakin leh chey! jam like mad. drive till my butt pain! this will be the last time i'll be down this. haha. after check in, de-kit. go makan. shopping. come back hotel. i oso dunno what to say lar. brain is very dead now. this internet service cost 39.90rm for 24hours.

okay. nothing liao. zz......

Hi people who actually read my blog and all. =)

I'll be going on a malaysia trip wif my family from today (17th May) to Monday (19th May). I won't be around to help anybody in trouble! so, do take care of yourselves please! =) I'll be bringing laptop there, my sis said that there is internet services there. so HOPEFULLY i'll be able to have access to the internet via laptop!

alright, signing off for now!

What is Love to you?

I personally feel that Love is an ability that every living thing has. An ability that can shine with no limits nor boundaries. An inborn ability programmed into us the moment we're created. Love for our passion; Love for nature; Love for sports; Love for people around us; Love for everything that holds a place in our mind.

Love itself is pure. But why do we still get to experience the down and ugly side of broken relationships? be it kinship, friendship, boy-girl relationship, etc... Picture this, a piece of white paper. You accidentally drop one tiny drop of ink or dirt. Would you still be able get that piece of white paper back? Something pure, by adding in other substance, purity turns impure. simple as that.

So, in short, Love is not an instinct. Lust is an instinct. Love is not selfish. Selfishness is greed. Greed is one of the sins that are inbuilt in human beings.

P.S. Let's use our words wisely from now on, agreed? For Love is beautiful while human nature is ugly. =)

Just a little something for us to think about...

Why is my life so messed up?
Why am I always the unlucky one?
Why cant you guys just go along with me for once?
Why are you all picking on me?
What do I get if I do this?
What will you do for me if I help you?
What benefits would I get?

Are the above questions one of the very few questions you would always post to yourself or to others?

Instead of always asking what you can get and what benefits awaits you, has the following question ever cross your mind?

"What do I have to offer to this world?"

Most of us are constantly thinking only about ourselves. Thinking of ways to make things work for our own convenience sake. Thinking of how we can manipulate people around us to do what we dread to do or what we wish to do. Even when thinking of how we can help others, we never fail to put the "myself" factor into our consideration. We came to this world with nothing except our body and soul. Yet we relentlessly asked for more as we grew older. We end up hurting people who we never ever thought of hurting before. We end up getting hurt by people we never thought they would ever hurt us. We sacrifices things important to us for a greater cause that would benefit us. We alter things that are meant to be for the sake of our very own selfishness. We even have the guts to say "It's a "dogs-eat-dogs" world" or "Survival of the Fittest".

How many of us can truly say they live selflessly to help people who are in need?
How many of us can say I have my life to offer to this world?
How many of us can offer everything we can?

It's not just about the ozone layer. It's not just about the green house effect. It's not even more just about the endangered or extincted animals. It's also about our everyday life. Things where you can do and offer to people around you. Being kind rather then being right. Putting others before self.

So what do YOU have to offer?

finally complete the course on flash.
course started yesterday.
2days for one level.
quite fun.

sacrifices & decision making.....
Every time one makes a decision, sacrifices are made. no matter how trivial, how insignificant the decision is, there will still be sacrifices. People are often troubled with the what decision they should make. what will be the right choice? which is more worth sacrificing?

What is the right thing to do? to make sure what we do is morally right? or lookin at the big picture where the right thing to do MIGHT not be the morally right thing we should do? is being right in everyone's eyes really that important? is being right in the eyes of people who are most important to you, important?

when the time comes, would we be able to cast morals and personnal believes aside, to do the RIGHT thing? or is there simply no RIGHT or WRONG to begin with?

I jus realise i forgot to continue on with the post yesterday. lol. oh well. let it be! =P

okay, today bro got pissed. dont wish to go into that. den i walk to my grandma's house. as expected, everyone got shocked cuz i actually walk there! haha. first round of mahjong, i won $50+. 2nd round after dinner, i lost everything. back to sqr one! lol. i did not lose my aunt's win so thats all right. haha =) this kinda things... i dont exactly like gambling. gambling for pleasure is okay but gambling for addiction is rather unhealthy. i would usually prefer not to play. depends on the mood i guess.. hahas.

hmm. people often hope that lives would be perfect. If life is really perfect, what purpose is there for human's existence? u'll be so perfect that u ultimately become more imbalance den you thought you wouldn't be. people always fail to understand that the beauty of life is simply the defects that people have and the mistakes that people commit. constantly strive for perfection, take note of the procress and enjoy. sure, u might be tinking "wad do u noe? u dont have defects that will cause u alot of problems". you're so wrong! i'm the almost perfect scumbag of the entire human race. at least, thats wad i see myself as, for now.
i've committed mistakes that i regretted.
i've done things that i knew they were wrong to do.
i've NOT do things that i knew all along i shld've done.
i would rather fall into the dark side den to show determination in overcoming my shortcomings.
typical scumbag, living in a world much better off den others. even as i'm typing all these, i'm feeling so ashame!! good thing is, i'm still feeling ashame and typing all these out, hoping i would be able to reflect upon myself.

Boring Saturday nite!
Hoping someone would ask me out!
or maybe give me a call and chat? haha.

"Those that go searching for love only make manifest their own lovelessness, and the loveless never find love, only the loving find love, and they never have to seek for it." - D.H. Lawrence

I'll speak out my thots later on after i come home. now, i need to go fetch my uncle!

So what am i suppose to blog about now?

I'm very excited that I'm able to study something i really wanted to. thank god for this great gift. thank my brothers and friends who are there for me. thank my mother for letting me have a go at this even though how little faith she has in this field. I'll not go on about what I'll do because I'll say the standard stuff.

I've once heard this from somewhere. about how people who lacks something important in life, will become the hero of their very own storybook of life. Going on a journey of hardship, seeking the purpose and the missing piece in their own life. I'm missing a purpose in life. I'm missing quite a big chunk of jig-saw puzzle pieces. I will set out on a quest to find these missing pieces and fit them together to form a purpose that I've longed for.

Jasmine, this world i believe, follows the law of attraction. The more attention you focus on things that you would not want to happen, will attract more of this energy and things will happen the way you wouldn't wan to. Like how people always fight against poverty in every corners of the world, the world ends up with more and more poor people. So I hope you will not be so concerned about why the letter is not sent to you yet. instead, try to be more positive from now on. after all, there isn't much you can do anymore. Why frown when you can use lesser muscles to smile?

One problem with humans are that we always worry about things that are either bound to happen or things in the future. With these negative thoughts always floating around in your mind, you will never be able to move on! Always repeatedly ask yourself, why worry about things that we can't change anymore? Guys, please do not assume that saying this, I would be acting like how I am saying. Because to tell the truth, I'm like many other people who allow unknown future to affect my mind. Blogging about this, I'm trying to constantly remind myself as well. to always look forward and learn from history. most importantly, be more positive and balanced.

LETTER OF OFFER TO DIPLOMA IN MULTIMEDIA COMMENCING ON 21 JULY 2008

Congratulations! I am please to confirm your success in your application to the above programme.

my bro came home today and told me i'm in! haha. =) happy!


hmm weiling as me how is it to be 21 for me. i told her it's actually nothing much to be happy about. haha. den she ask about the freedom.

i feel that when freedom has a big price to pay, will freedom really be freedom?

Nowadays, i would always be wondering. What does it mean to be an adult? Especially when so many adults are acting like kids. quarrelling over issues when these issues need to be attended to immediately. when things dont go their way, they would make a huge fuss over a small mole hill. Well, everyone got their own way of living. So, as long as they do not commit crimes, i guess it'll be alright bah? haha.
let it be. jus be.

Thks Ms Gui! for that black forest cake! hahas. So Bday wasn't that bad after all..... =) Sorry for letting you WAIT! one of the components of "tidying up my life" would be watch my time. =) lols. anyway. after that, went to eunos with Bryan in his IMPREZZA! hahas. wah seriously had a hard time driving that piece of machinery... but its quite okay in the end i guess. haha. Boxer engine with ECU. bryan, u gotta start gettin rough with the car! lol. den after that, i drive home and slack all the way. den went for supper with aiden and ZQ jus now. Sanjay called. lol! ask me to join him and kwee meng at timbre this friday =S den after that send aiden home and had another cup of drink b4 we call it a "day".. haha.

oh, sokting... THANKS! haha. very nice of you to keep slapping me 21 times, over msn for god noes wad reason =S hahas. and those emails you tried to spam me with and of cuz that annoying fun game that is almost impossible to think of the answers. haha! =X after all, you gave me most of the answers.. =P

btw, thanks sok!! damn sweet of you to waste so much money to call me! haha. miss ya loads! please come back ASAP! lol. =)

THANKS GUYS AND GIRLS! all your greetings, presents and wishes, appreciate them very much! =D oh and advance thanks to those presents that i've yet to collect! =P

wow. my 21st year on earth.
haha. not interested.... -_-



i think i forgot to say thanks to willis and all for the very nice chocolate cake they bought! thanks! =)



hmm. 21yrs old... i've not accomplish anything yet. no point looking into the past about these negative stuff. oh well. haha. smiles =)


thanks sokting for being the first to wish me on my actual bday. haha. den thanks shermin for being the second to wish me. lol. thks girls =)

i wish that i would be able to do something that i wish myself to do in this coming 21st year. hope i'll not disappoint myself. =)

Negative vibes!

Have you ever had the feeling that you cant achieve anything? that "accomplishment" is like the stars while you're standing on solid earth? though you know that there are certain things you knew you needed to do and even though you have the strength to do, you do not have the power to draw out that strength?

i know what i have to do. while waiting for nafa's letter, i should still be drawing and trying my best to get the freelance job. i know that worrying ain't gonna solve anything and that what ever happens, what ever the result is, i would still need to move on and do what i needed to do.

everyday, i take out my sketch books and pencils, i do not dare to draw. i would stare at the blank paper and just space out. after awhile, i take out my PSP and play. after awhile, i open the one piece web page and start watching one piece.

this is a sign of weakness! i'm easily distracted. i gave up w/o doing anything. i did not display my will power nor my determination to do what i knew i need to do. i knew what went wrong yet i stood there and continue to do wrong.

can someone help me? i doubt so. i need to seek my own resolve. fast!

the chalet ended today.

1st day, 1st nite,

alot of cock ups. driving around whole day. thks aiden for sacrificing your study time to accompany me. aiden and Thomas accompanied me. we went to watch ironman at TM. Really nice show! oh thomas, thks too. for coming down after work for both days! =) slept @ 4plus 5am.

2nd day, 2nd nite,

woke up with a bad flu. very tired. drag to brunch by aiden thomas. subway @ downtown. jeremy came later. followed by derek. play mahjong & aiden use his books to attack me and kept patting my shoulders. i told him if i win, its all skills. den later i ask him not to attack me wif his books anymore. =X i won 70cents and left later on to fetch grandma and all. came back around 5plus 6. start fire and all. den get everyone to eat. i didnt eat much as usual. very busy! tired.... thks guys for those who helped me with the preparations. later on, bryan drove his imprezza and stayed over with me. along with aiden thomas and chih chuan.

oh btw, thks guys for coming down! deliang and family, lester & ryan, aiden jiacai jeffrey gerwyn thomas jeremy bryan liming aloy derek shunren eugene lester walter kahmeng willis benjamin chih chuan zhan hui, kris & my relatives & pple who i miss out! i hope you guys enjoyed!

presents received:

- Key Pendant (dad)

- Vodka (ZQ)

- Pillow (thomas & jeremy)

- Colour pencil (aiden)

- Memory card (thomas)

- Robinson voucher (liming)

- Gayishly PINK polo tee (gerwyn eugene & shunren)

- Heineken (aloy)

- Bailey (bryan)

- Tee shirt (aunt)

- Ang Pows (aunts, unc, cousins, grandmas & etc...)

- Mentos & Coke (jeremy) **

**jeremy is attempting to kill his friend here!

the whole thing is quite okay i guess. i so so so hope that someone would accompany me on my actual bday. for a simple meal & a simple cake with a simple movie or a simple walk.

haha! oh lord... the arena on ch 5 is touching the topic on introducing NS to woman! for a few little punks to talk about NS? oh please....

one of the little girl is saying that singapore have sufficient manpower?
please go do your research before you talk!

another said that she doesnt need to do a man's job to prove equality?
thats what i am saying! wan to be equal with man yet still acting like a little girl! oh hell, go back to your mom's womb please.

people who did not go thru certain things, shouldn't be blabbering away as if they know it all! disrespectful to people who are going thru and those who went thru. waste of time.

wah today..

really is the pi pi pa pi pu..

got this uncle driving a toyota keep flashing his high beam at me! i'm driving 60 on a 50 road. den he he overtake the car in front of him and kept staring at me with his very weird expression! almost like pouting but not exactly. mix with a little sour look and a pinch of anger with a dash of sadness. after that, me and aiden kept laughin at his expression. haha! high beam abuser!!!

oh and aiden says, thick lower lips, eyes like wanna pop out.

i kept laughing when i think of how he looks like when he is high beaming me.

"alright uncle, i know i know. your high beam very powerful. i might have been killed by your beam! *zap* *zap*" hahaha =P

later i went to order my own birthday cake. very sad hor? everything ownself do. so mah fan. believe it or not, i never wanted to do any celebration. in fact, my actual bday is on the 6th. most likely be sleeping thru bah. haha. troublesome. so i hope everyone would be happy on the day itself. else it'll be the first and last chalet i'll ever organise. lol

gym session was a killer! i totally hate it. all the dragon boat people are like so smelly! and of cuz, they're very strong. haha. i feel like tony tony chopper when he did not transform. LOL! i sweared upon my balls, i will go running later in the day. so i intend to keep that word i made. becuz i sweared upon my balls, thats why i will make it happen.