haiz...

How can people get so fake nowadays?
Don't they know how much it hurts people around them?
wait a minute... I'm so fake too! who cares anyway?
isn't it suppose to be a "modern day trend"?

we all put up a mask in front of people. intentionally hiding parts of ourselves, putting up a fake front to trick people. because of certain benefits and/or reasons, they maintain this fake face.

Humans are interdependent? more like scheming idiots with idiot thinkings that others are stupid enough not to detect their hidden agenda. like a fool y'all.

for people to achieve something,
something needs to be sacrificed.

are the sacrifices worth?

Humans like to contradict themselves. knowing what is to be done and what they would love to do cant be pleased at both ends. getting stuck at decisions. not knowing if they should've just do wad is right or do what they feel like.

what is the right solution? does anybody know?

oh man. damn tired now!

thanks to sean n edwin again, for helping out wif my DI. It seems i need to do more illustator to improve myself.
lol. had a great time talking to sonny jus now. realise we've quite some common thinkings n stuff. sonny! the free "picked up on the floor" ruler is a dangerous weapon! omg.

cause of that and being so tired, sorry for didnt replying immediately.

finally DI is done.

Operation : Anti-Procrastination.

Why live to the fullest when we're going to die anyway?

I think I've found the answer.
Not for myself.
For the people who bestow life upon my body.
For them who gave me a soul.
For the people who are far less unfortunate.

For my mother's retirement.
For my life goal.
For the story of the 2 people climbing up an 80 storey building.

I've been really selfish.
Thats why I'm doing my homework now!
Or maybe just now.
BUT after I publish this, I will carry on with my work.

Feels like being in the wrong world at the wrong time. The adults often speak of the past while the young ones always use the future to escape. I need to start living in the present. Always pushing forward instead of escaping to somewhere where it doesnt exist yet.

Nothing comes easy nothing comes free. With every decision I make, something needs to be sacrificed. Even while making one, I've already sacrificed time.

I'm lonely. I'm inspirationless. I'm tired of myself..
I need to hold on even if I can't.
I've to do what I need to do.
I have to. I have to.

CONCENTRATE YOU FOOL

Sean, you're right. Everything is becoming a routine for me. My laziness, my lateness, my bad habits in a whole. I need a spark to kick start a whole new routine. I need changes and positive vibes. I'm doing my work now okay! hahaha. I'm luckily to have you guys as my classmates and dependable friends.

I do not know what will be the spark plug to ignite my engine. I'm sure it'll come to me eventually. Seeking begets more seeking, like negativity begets more negativity. I do not need a search party. I just need to keep doing what I've to do.

Walter, my works are not good enough to be put up. haha. At least not for now. =)

BE TRUE TO MYSELF...
Recently every single night, the same question comes to my mind.

"What have I done?"
"What am I doing?"
"What am I going to do?"

So far, I've not done anything that is worth talkin' about. I just realise that all I've been doing is wasting time, wasting money, wasting life. Actually, if anyone's noticed, I've several posts that are talking about the same thing so basically I'm just repeating myself again and again. I realised all I'm now is more of a joke. I'm passing my life. I'm not living it. I do not know where to begin living because think too much where I should call "my starting point". I do not know how to stop procrastinating because I'm always in my sluggish lumpy slothy slow disgusting "comfort zone". I kept wanting things yet I didn't truely work for it. I would always think okay, after this I will... And I did not. I feel like crap for the need to get money from my mother. Yet I give excuses so I can make my stupid self feel at ease. What have I done to contribute? What do I have to give? I always think that few more years is all I need. After I've done this and that, I can contribute as much as I want. I tell others focus on what is there and not what is lost, I didn't do as I preach.

After entering NAFA, I realised how insignificant I am. How unproductive I am. How uncreative I am. How lousy I am with drawing, colouring and completing assignments. I know I can do them if I want. But "IF" is clearly not enough. What can I do? I know the solution but I choose to turn away from it. Procrastination. I know my vice. I can't subdue my inner demon. I did not even attempt and I still dare to sat that I can't. I'm a failure in every way possible.

I always say it is time.. it is time.. it is time.. When is really the time? When I lose something, that I know the time has already gone by? Then go on and console myself that it is never too late? Again I tell others, why correct when we can prevent? And I failed to do what I say.

Resolves and Convictions. Very strong words that can only work with fierce determination. What will I do next? What is my next step? Which pawn will I move? Will I say starting tomorrow on? Will I say from this instance? Will I lie to myself? Will I come up with excuses? Will I fail again?

Time will tell...

"World peace must develop from inner peace. Peace is not the absence of violence. Peace is the manifestation of human compassion."

—The Dalai Lama

sometimes the best way to show concern is not to show at all.
the person wouldn't appreciate and you'll make yourself feel worse.
just leave that person be and move on.
that person will be happier without you bothering that person.

it's okay, it's alright.
as long as i focus my thoughts on other stuff, it won't hurt much =)


it is weird how people react to another person. because people hide things and people are nonchalent, so there is hardly a specific pattern to how they react to each other..

I would wan to go into psychology after I've settle down with my design studies and work.

The league of extraordinary super cars...

Maserati Quattroporte Sport GT S

Lamborghini Murcielago LP 670-4 Superveloce
Ferrari Scuderia Spyder 16m

"when u attain perfection u become a saint and when u become a saint means u died haha...imperfection is a term for ppl who are dying to be perfrect...iits spelt: I M Perfection"

Walter, "saint" is only attained after the "blessed" past away. From where i see, becoming a saint doesnt mean that he/she is perfection because when alive, somewhere somehow, I'm sure he/she still have imperfections. So how can someone who is dead right his/her imperfections?
Then again, perfection is subjective. If I see life as suppose to be having flaws and supposingly to make mistakes and have regrets along with some other negativity or defects, then my life would be perfect because my life is fitting into the way life should actually be.
Just like how "Smelly Tofu" is suppose to be smelly and people like it for how it smells.

When someone keeps spending his whole life to find something, he would end up not finding what he seeks. haha.

see how a child can silence the whole UN conference? But as u can see, i'm sure that video is taking very long ago. What is being done now? Is it enough? We often know what went wrong but I have totally no idea how can people with such authorities just think nothing of it? Restrictions? When they're such a big organisation, what restrictions could they possibly have that absolutely no one is competent of solving it?

Brick walls.

They are there for the sole purpose of putting people down. Brick walls give you the chance to show how badly you want it. How would you react? Would you back down? Or right through the brick wall?


Resolutions.

Resolutions are made to disappoint people who made them. They don't really work for everyone. Is your "New Year" resolutions not working out for you? Why not just let things go at your own pace? When you stop disappointing yourself, you become a happier person, you will realise how productive you would suddenly become.


Imperfections.

It is the new beauty or rather it's been the beauty ever since humans know the sense of beauty. Or den again, it may just be my own perception of beauty. Imperfection drives people to constantly seek for perfection. From seeking perfection, people feel satisfied as they feel they're getting closer to it.

Have you ever wondered?
What happens when perfection is attained?
What happens after perfection is attained?

To me, when perfection is attained, in this world there would be nothing left to live for. There would be nothing to look forward to, nothing to work towards, nothing to achieve... With life being meaningless, I might just kill myself. haha.