BE TRUE TO MYSELF...
Recently every single night, the same question comes to my mind.

"What have I done?"
"What am I doing?"
"What am I going to do?"

So far, I've not done anything that is worth talkin' about. I just realise that all I've been doing is wasting time, wasting money, wasting life. Actually, if anyone's noticed, I've several posts that are talking about the same thing so basically I'm just repeating myself again and again. I realised all I'm now is more of a joke. I'm passing my life. I'm not living it. I do not know where to begin living because think too much where I should call "my starting point". I do not know how to stop procrastinating because I'm always in my sluggish lumpy slothy slow disgusting "comfort zone". I kept wanting things yet I didn't truely work for it. I would always think okay, after this I will... And I did not. I feel like crap for the need to get money from my mother. Yet I give excuses so I can make my stupid self feel at ease. What have I done to contribute? What do I have to give? I always think that few more years is all I need. After I've done this and that, I can contribute as much as I want. I tell others focus on what is there and not what is lost, I didn't do as I preach.

After entering NAFA, I realised how insignificant I am. How unproductive I am. How uncreative I am. How lousy I am with drawing, colouring and completing assignments. I know I can do them if I want. But "IF" is clearly not enough. What can I do? I know the solution but I choose to turn away from it. Procrastination. I know my vice. I can't subdue my inner demon. I did not even attempt and I still dare to sat that I can't. I'm a failure in every way possible.

I always say it is time.. it is time.. it is time.. When is really the time? When I lose something, that I know the time has already gone by? Then go on and console myself that it is never too late? Again I tell others, why correct when we can prevent? And I failed to do what I say.

Resolves and Convictions. Very strong words that can only work with fierce determination. What will I do next? What is my next step? Which pawn will I move? Will I say starting tomorrow on? Will I say from this instance? Will I lie to myself? Will I come up with excuses? Will I fail again?

Time will tell...