why cant i be honest with myself?

why am i not be able to face my own feelings?

what am i suppose to feel in the first place?

what am i seeking?

am i greedy for what i ask for?

what am i asking for in the first place?

why do i not dare answer the questions i ask myself?

is the book i bought, not enough to help me up back on my feet? i guess it's cause i read the book that made me think of those questions above. i feel like i need a soul mate. feelin' empty once again...

i have to find my guts back! i have to force my courage out! i need discipline to be a being of peace! there are many types of great people out there. people whose greatness become an aura that affects people around them without many noticing. i know myself, ever since I'm a little boy, i would always think about things in life. from very mindless silly thoughts to why people react to things differently and many many more. i could say that my mind is ever since, very messy and lacks a bit of organising.

i wish and I'm trying hard to find my source of peace. to harness that source and be the peace I could only dream of being. right now, i can sense the source nearby but i can't seem to move forth!

Dr Wayne Dyer says:
imagine a container deep within yourself out of which all your thoughts flow. Inside of this container, at its very center, imagine a candle flame. You need to make a commitment that this flame in the center of the container holding all of your thoughts will never, ever even flicker, although the very worst may go before you. This is your container of peace, and only peaceful thoughts can fuel the burning candle. You don't need to change your thoughts as much as you need to learn to be an energy of peace lighting the way and attracting serene, harmonious thoughts and beings. In this way, you'll become a being of peace.