I've had a very unproductive day.

jus a few moments ago, i felt really sad.

i wont say the reason though.

it hurts.

wads gonna happen tomorrow?

wads gonna happen the day after?

wads gonna happen on apr 19th?

i noe that

worrying about the future is useless.

thinking about the past is futile.

the flame on the candle in my box is flickering.

Xan's bingo book:

code red pirorities for upcoming days APR to MAY.

#1 audition on Apr 19th @ NAFA.

#2 chalet for my 21st birthday.

speaking wif jeremy today, i feel so unmotivated to celebrate my 21st birthday. i feel so alone. are my friends really dependable? am i important to my family? can i count on them in times of need? oftenly, i do not dare to approach them when i need help to complete tasks. i fear they would not be there for me. i fear they would jus brush me off with excuses. as much difference as we all are, i can swear upon my name, in times of need i would sacrifice all i have for the sake of my family and friends. my money, my life, my future. pple might think, talk cock lar. no one is so stupid. den so be it, i'm the stupid one. i often tell my friends, call me anytime when u get into trouble. my hp is on 24/7. even at 3am, i will do my best to wake up and pick up the call. when i say that, i meant every word i say. i choose to believe to treat people as how i hope to be treated. hoping one day i would find people who would go thru great lengths for me as i would do for them.