depressing night...

all I've to blame is my undisciplined self!

seriously, what am I doing nowadays?

arh~ cruel reality!

why is there so much ordeal for me?

well, everyone must be thinking the same thing as well right? why do i have to go through this ordeal? why must i suffer so much? why this why that.. then the next thing i will say is..... "well, that's life right?" very typical of me. predictable! get out of the box i tell myself? i wonder...

getting out of the box, into a circle? another barrier? or getting out of the box, in the nothingness? a formless world of imagination?

i need to go back to the very beginning to find myself back.

i remember myself when I'm still a kid with A4 size papers & a bunch of crayons. i would draw my ambitions out when I'm suppose to be doing my homework. drawing policeman, aeroplanes, spaceships, etc... the most vivid image is a scientist with some kind of machine. a chicken going in from one side, egg coming out from the other. When i grew older, i realise that my real ambition and my passion belongs to drawing.

why i like Arts?

It is boundless. Art knows no boundaries. Art has no barriers. like a smile, it's an international language. i can express myself with no restrictions. create from nothingness. Enjoy the process of shaping contours and putting colours together. The ever changing transforming ability. As i go on, i realise i could bring joy to people with my work. I've got to have a feel of a new level of self-satisfaction.

Then, went into NS, for 2yrs, I've truly wasted my youth on my academic life. I stop drawing & I failed to upgrade myself. I'd learnt lessons in life that would be useful in assisting me to handle people but, these aren't enough! Picking up from where I left off is indeed a very difficult path. I wish I could escape!